June 5th

Posted: June 5, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

*quick update, I set this up to automatically post on Facebook everyday, but because I’m no longer on Facebook, I may or may have calibrated the jiggawatts correctly file 404 error sequential order shutdown cute puppies…aka it might or might not be posting to Facebook.*

I posted the first day’s ridiculousness last night around 11PM.  Then I went to bed. I laid down, opened the lid on my laptop, and went to Netflix like I do every night. Here’s a snippet of the convo that went on in my head:

*Opens lid of laptop, types in Netflix.com, hits enter*

“Sweet, Netflix has Workaholics now!”

*Clicks play*

“SHIT!”

*slams laptop lid closed*

“Holy balls, I might be taking this shit too seriously, I almost hurt my computadora” (yes, I said a Spanish word in my head during my inner-monologue, who are you, the language police?)

“I better read a chapter of a book instead”

sooooooo long story short, I thought the no TV thing would be easy considering I don’t have cable.  How did I forget that I watch at least an hour of TV via Netflix, EVERY NIGHT OF MY MORONIC LIFE!  So that one just became a little more difficult. Still though, SUCCESS. Also, for the rest of the time period:

I won’t even mention what website I almost typed in before Netflix, but I’ll just say #9 is still intact.

So that brings us to today:

First off, my upset stomach from last night has subsided. I think the little dudes in my stomach were like:

But now they’re cool with it.

I still hate jogging. Every time I’ve ever told someone I went for a run this is what they think:


That’s called a meme if you are over the age of 35, and I’ve decided I’m probably going to use quite a few of them to get my point across because screw you, this is my thing. You want a thing? Someone told me you’d be a good juggler.

I used “ma lady” this morning to the woman who cleans our office at work. She knows me though so it didn’t throw her off at all, she just smiled and said, “hello”. I was a little disappointed. I’m going to make it a point to use it on random women rather than ones I know. I think that’s more awkward, and more awkward = more awesome. I really wish I wasn’t abstaining, because saying that during sex might be the MOST AWESOME/AWKWARD THING EVER. Not during sex with the woman that cleans our office at work though. That’s weird. Wait, what was I talking about again? Oh yeah, calling a woman “ma lady” during sex. Well until that happens, I’ll consider this the most awesome/awkward thing ever:

This hair.

My random act of kindness today was to donate 10 bucks to this dude, he’s more of a badass than you thought your dad was when you were 7.  If I have a will power month, he’s got a will power life, and he’s f*cking crushing it.

If you don’t know what that website is BTW, click around a little bit…it’s called thechive.com and its FANTASTIC.  Shoot, that should be my random act of kindness for tomorrow, exposing you all to The Chive.

I made my green blend today. After I got done with it, I thought, “Dang, I’m getting much faster at making this already.” Yesterday, it took me 20 minutes to get everything together.  Today it took me 5 minutes.  Did I become an amazing green blending genius overnight? That would be a big, fat, harry, ugly, gosh darn NO:

seriously, how fun are memes?

So, no kiwi, plus blending for a 1/5th of the time I did yesterday = veggie tasting, very chewy green blend.

If you look closely you’ll see the lack of Kiwi.

I will be going back to taking my time tomorrow.

The house project I (mainly papa bear Konowitz, with me watching) completed for this week was installing a new 4×4 post in my mailbox and putting it back in the ground after it got snapped off last week. I also set up a wireless printer so I can have the leisure of printing things anywhere in my house if I want.  You never know when you’ll need to print off Star Wars fan fiction while sitting on the toilet, I always say.

So that’s day two, it’s still really f*cking hard.

Recap:

  1. Keeping a blog of my shenanigans and updating it daily. Duh. (SUCCESS)
  2. Waking up every day before 8am. This includes Saturdays and Sundays (SUCCESS)
  3. Go for a jog every morning. (SUCCESS) I HATED THIS AGAIN
  4. Do a “Green Blend” every morning. (SUCCESS) although it was not morning, it was afternoon again.
  5. Do not cut my hair or shave for the month (this is one of my friends just being a dick). (SUCCESS)
  6. Use the term “ma lady” (including the hand gesture) once a day. (SUCCESS)
  7. No television other than the NBA Playoffs. (SUCCESS)
  8. Nothing other than water to drink (INCLUDING no alcohol). (SUCCESS)
  9. Full abstinence including “self” pleasure. (SUCCESS)
  10. No logging onto Facebook. (SUCCESS)
  11. Complete one project around the house every week. (SUCCESS)
  12. Volunteer two times somewhere. (PENDING)
  13. Read one book every week. (PENDING)
  14. Say something positive into the mirror about myself every morning. (SUCCESS)
  15. Do one random act of kindness a every day. (SUCCESS)
  16. Do one workout besides the morning jog every day (SUCCESS)
  17. No biting the fingernails. (SUCCESS) I caught myself a few times but immediately stopped AGAIN so I’m counting it a win
  18. Make every meal that I eat, with one “cheat” meal per week. (SUCCESS)
  19. Text msg 5 people every day and share a compliment/oddity/or fun fact. (SUCCESS)
Comments
  1. DeannaC says:

    You’re hilarious. The end.

  2. Facebook post was successful. Great job today!

  3. Ryan Panos says:

    makin’ moves! get after it brother!

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