Justin Timberlake in a wig, you SHOULD be disappointed.
I, being of sound mind and body, 100% forgot to blend green veggies and drink them. I knew it was just a matter of time. Granted it is currently 11:38pm as I’m writing this and I could go to the store RIGHT NOW and procure some veggies and fruit to blend. I’m not going to do that. I’m going to take the loss. Why? Because it’s half over. This is the 16th day of this crazy shit, and I’m super tired of doing everything everyday. I’m going to chalk it up, and move on. It had to happen sooner or later.
There has got to be a repercussion for this though, right? So I think I’m going to kick it into high gear for the second 1/2 of the 30 day stupid guy challenge. I’m going to wake up everyday before 7am instead of 8am. I’m going to add a weight lifting workout to my workouts everyday as well. Starting tomorrow after work I’m going to leave my car at work, and bike to and from work everyday. I’m also going to cut out all carbs for the remainder of the challenge, including any cheat meals. This is going to be BY FAR the hardest thing I’ve done yet. Possibly even more difficult than no porn and taking up jogging. “Why Ben, why is this going to be harder?” -said no one. Good question, no one. Allow me to explain very simply, this is what I look like when there is bread/potato/cereal/fries/breading/croutons/any other carb ever, in front of me:
So yeah, I’d say it’s going to be a little difficult. Oh well, that’s what this month is all about right? F*ck it, I’m IN!
I really wish I hadn’t missed that green blend. Shit.
Ok, onto the stuff you came here to read about, what I did today!
I didn’t juggle today, did you?
I started off the day clocking in at 7:59…cutting it too close, but that was a win for the day. I went up to the Y for Noon Hoops to try to test out the ankle, and surprisingly, it’s much better today. So I noticed there was about 8 minutes left on the clock for the next game to start, so I just jogged around the court in one very tiny loop for 8 minutes, trying to ease back into it. It worked and I played for a while and headed back to work.
As I left the Y today, I was about to get into my car when I ran across a young woman. I said hello, she said hello, and then she stopped and asked if I was the guy that said “meh lady”. At least I think I remember her saying that. Ok, there was definitely a young woman, she definitely asked me about the blog somehow, and I definitely didn’t know her before today. She told me she reads it often. She got the “meh lady”, and she laughed when I said it. Win.
Two things here:
1. Hi young lady! Thanks for reading and I hope your pets are doing wonderfully.
2. I think this means that people might actually be reading this that I don’t personally know. THAT BLOWS MY MIND.
For those of you first time readers: Hi, my name is Ben. I enjoy sex, alcohol, food from restaurants, and sleep. I am currently not having any. I’m also hung like a mule and can see through walls, and I once saved a baby otter from a house fire. The End.
On to the random act of kindness for today:
I ran into my old high school English teacher today and told her that I’m writing a blog and that I would never have done so without her. It’s true, that’s where I learned to enjoy writing for funsies.
That’s a pretty weak random act of kindness, don’t you think? Well, I thought so too. Even though I really think it made her happy to hear, I felt like I should do something a little more. So I stood by the side of the road and gave people money.
Well to be specific, I drove 15 miles away from my house and went to the toll both. I knocked on the door and asked the woman that came out if I could stand on the side of the road and pay people’s tolls as they came through. She asked the basic follow up questions, what? and why?. I told her what was going on with the bloggy blog and everything and she called her boss. Then he called his boss. Then he called her back. It was funny listening to her responses to his questions:
*This is exactly what I heard her say into the phone, in order, while talking to her boss about me standing on the side of the road to give people money*
He said it’s some act of kindness thing.
No, he doesn’t have a [reflective] vest.
He can have my vest.
No, he’s legit.
Just for a few cars.
She was cool as hell. She vouched for me, offered me her vest, everything. I stood by the cash/credit toll booth and paid for 7 cars to go through. I explained quickly to each one what was going on. I really wish I would have videotaped it. I got everything from, “God Bless you” to “What’s the catch?”.
Every single one of them was at the very least happy their toll was paid. I even got to give a dollar to a woman who told me she accidentally left her purse at home and didn’t know how she was going to pay the toll before she saw my sign. That’s pretty sweet.
Just awesome. I even gave out the website to a nice young couple in a minivan that were super appreciative. They were the coolest about me paying, and no, I’m not just saying that because they have the website and are the only ones that might see this…
There was a black man that I’ll assume based on his accent, was not from America. He was almost scared by the whole thing. There was a trucker with zero working teeth that said something like “hell yeah that helps”. There was guy coming home from work that just didn’t know what to make of any of it. It was a very positive experience.
After my good deed, I played basketball outside tonight and read a chapter in a book. I watched Russel Westbrook go full retard and lose the game for the Thunder, and now I’m going to bed.
Wait, scroll up…did I really give up carbs for the next 14 days?
So that’s day sixteen, everything is still really f*cking hard and it’s about to get much harder.
- Keeping a blog of my shenanigans and updating it daily. Duh. (SUCCESS)
- Waking up every day before 8am. This includes Saturdays and Sundays (SUCCESS) Yeah, I’m surprised too.
- Go for a jog every morning. (SUCCESS) I’m counting the swim as I was too injured to jog.
- Do a “Green Blend” every morning. (FAIL!!!!!!!!!!)
- Do not cut my hair or shave for the month (this is one of my friends just being a dick). (SUCCESS)
- Use the term “ma lady” (including the hand gesture) once a day. (SUCCESS)
- No television other than the NBA Playoffs. (SUCCESS) Thunder/Heat…I’m taking the Thunder in 6 SHIT.
- Nothing other than water to drink (INCLUDING no alcohol). (SUCCESS)
- Full abstinence including “self” pleasure. (SUCCESS) I hate this right now.
- No logging onto Facebook. (SUCCESS) I hope people are commenting that I’m super sexy in my absence.
- Complete one project around the house every week. (3 of 4 SUCCESS)
- Volunteer two times somewhere. (2 of 2 SUCCESS)
- Read one book every week. (2 of 4 SUCCESS)
- Say something positive into the mirror about myself every morning. (SUCCESS)
- Do one random act of kindness a every day. (SUCCESS)
- Do one workout besides the morning jog every day (SUCCESS)
- No biting the fingernails. (SUCCESS) I’m catching myself doing it less and less…so that’s good.
- Make every meal that I eat, with one “cheat” meal per week. (SUCCESS)
- Text msg 5 people every day and share a compliment/oddity/or fun fact. (SUCCESS)
- Be on time to work everyday (SUCCESS)
- Weight lift everyday except Sundays
- Bike to work and back everyday that I go to work
- NO CARBS AT ALL UNTIL IT’S OVER
- Wake up at 7 instead of 8 everyday.