First off tonight, I wanted to answer a question that I’ve been asked quite a few times during this 30 day challenge. I would have gone on forever typing it all out so instead I recorded my fat face and put it on here in a video.

The ‘only eat 2000 calories a day’ isn’t a rule this month…it’s just something I thought I would try to do without an all or nothing mentality. Sort of a “try to get as close as possible everyday and see what happens” type thing.

One thing I didn’t mention in the video that was really helped me out is

That’s how I know how many calories I’ve shoved in my face for the day. It even gives you a report so you can see how much you are screwing up or how well you are doing. I started mine the day I started this challenge. This report shows net calories consumed, which is all the food calories minus all the exercise calories. I only record exercise calories from what I consider working out. So if I take 2 flights of stairs or have to park at the back of the parking lot and walk an extra 300 yards, I don’t type that in as a calorie burner.

I realize it doesn’t look like I’ve lost 16 pounds in 20 days. I’m still fat. I’m ok with that.

This also doesn’t mean I’m necessarily going to keep going with this and lose even more weight after this month is over. We’ll cross that hefty bridge when we come to it, ok?

For now I can only focus on so much…

The waking up and saying something positive about myself in the mirror every day has been harder than I thought, too. The first couple days it’s really easy. “you are a good person”, “you are smart”…hey, I said easy…not true. Now I’m saying things like “You are better at basketball than you should be at 30 years old” and things that are waaaaay too specific. It’s hard coming up with that much positivity!

I woke up this morning at 6:59 AM. I stayed up for 2 hours by eating breakfast and reading a book. Then I took a nap from 9am to 10:10am. It might have been the best nap of my life.

I rode my bike to work this morning just to pick up my car. I didn’t realize that in my little list down below I was only forcing myself to ride my bike on the days I work. Great attention to detail, ass. I could have been napping even LONGER.

I got halfway through my third book. “The Advocate” by Larry Axelrood. It’s a novel. I met Larry on a Southwest flight about a year ago, and after talking with him for a while I found out that he’s a judge in Chicago and he published a couple of crime novels. I told him I was going to buy one and after I was done with it, mail it to him so he could sign it and send it back. I’m just now reading it. He’s probably going to be shocked as shit when he gets it in the mail next week. That’s the kind of stuff I love right there. Actually following through with stupid things you say off the cuff like that. “Oh I’m going to buy your book, read it, and send it to you” He’s thinking “Sure you are, kid.” Prepare to be amazed, Larry.

After I got done with my book I masturbated to some awesome Asian porn.

Just kidding. How weird would that have been if I just left that in there and didn’t say another word about it. How many comments would I have gotten? Probably like 5! Dare to dream, Benny.

After I got done with my book I organized some paperwork and did some yard work. I then got a text from my buddy Keith asking me to help him move our mutual friend’s mother into her new place. If that’s confusing, I drew a picture:

I think that really clears it up.

So our mutual friend was out of town and it was just Keith and I moving her stuff into the house and down into the basement. It took 3 hours. I counted it as both my random act of kindness for the day and my workout. Holy hell some of that stuff was heavy and awkward. Ha. Heavy and awkward = Ben. I hope that catches on. “Man, I was helping my buddy move and some of his stuff was soooo Ben”

I’m going to post this one a little early tonight so I can hit the bed before midnight for the first time in 2 weeks. I checked the numbers from yesterday’s post. So far today, 91 people have viewed the page, and it’s telling me that 15 people clicked the food pantry links. Not quite the half I was hoping for, but at least I got 15 of you to check it out. It’s something!

Speaking of views and whatnot, I caught this the other day and it made me laugh out loud pretty hard. Someone actually got to my blog by entering this into Google search:


How awesome is that!?

Goodnight lovers.

So that’s day TWENTY. 2/3rds done and it can’t come soon enough. Everything is still really f*cking hard. But carbs are back, so that’s much better than it was!


  1. Keeping a blog of my shenanigans and updating it daily. Duh. (SUCCESS)
  2. Waking up every day before 8am. This includes Saturdays and Sundays (SUCCESS) Yeah, I’m surprised too.
  3. Go for a jog every day. (SUCCESS) Bike ride!
  4. Do a “Green Blend” every day. (I’ve missed ONE)
  5. Do not cut my hair or shave for the month (this is one of my friends just being a dick). (SUCCESS) Growing it out for!
  6. Use the term “ma lady” (including the hand gesture) once a day. (SUCCESS)
  7. No television! (SUCCESS)
  8. Nothing other than water to drink (INCLUDING no alcohol). (SUCCESS)
  9. Full abstinence including “self” pleasure. (SUCCESS)
  10. No logging onto Facebook. (SUCCESS)
  11. Complete one project around the house every week. (3 of 4 SUCCESS)
  12. Volunteer two times somewhere. (2 of 2 SUCCESS)
  13. Read one book every week. (2 of 4 SUCCESS)
  14. Say something positive into the mirror about myself every morning. (SUCCESS)
  15. Do one random act of kindness a every day. (SUCCESS)
  16. Do one workout besides the morning jog every day (SUCCESS)
  17. No biting the fingernails. (SUCCESS)
  18. Make every meal that I eat, with one “cheat” meal per week. (SUCCESS)
  19. Text msg 5 people every day and share a compliment/oddity/or fun fact. (SUCCESS)
  20. Be on time to work everyday (SUCCESS)


  1. Weight lift everyday except Sundays (SUCCESS) also acceptable is a pushup routine.
  2. Bike to work and back everyday that I go to work (SUCCESS)
  4. Wake up before 7 instead of 8 everyday. (SUCCESS)
  1. rinnieeats says:

    Ben I’ve got some bad news. You’re screwed. When this challenge is over, people are going to be PISSED that you don’t blog daily. I envision angry mobs. Possibly happening at your booth at the fair. Do you know how many people have randomly said to me “So that Ben guy…have you been keeping up with his blog? IT’S HILARIOUS”. So, get some sponsors and monetize BABY, because it’s freaking GOLD! (may I suggest Seamless Gutter as your first sponsor?)

  2. That vlog is hilarious. Erin’s right, you need to keep up the blog after the 3rd. I want to read more of your antics.

    Also, thanks for the shout-out yesterday for the food pantry shirts. Jason ordered 500 of them, and they’ll be available on the 7/1/12 at the church. (Corner of Linwood and State street.) If you want a specific size, it’s good to pre-order. If not, people can just go get one. They’ll also be at the fair in Pioneer Land.

    You are by far my favorite athiest friend.

  3. DeannaC says:

    Pleaseeeeeeee continue this blog.

  4. Niki Frank says:

    I’d like to thank you Ben. I am having a horrible day, as I do every other Monday, when I have to hug and kiss my babies and send them to their daddy’s house for a week. Thus ending their week with their sticky kisses, inquisitive questions every.three.seconds, super duper snuggles, and sweet sweet snores at night….I was sitting at my desk crying my eyes out when I came here…and you made me laugh. Out loud. An honest to goodness out loud laugh… so I’m sure the people I work with think I’m battling bi-polar with a side of PMS… But thanks for that. I needed it. That’s all.

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