I saw this today and I’ve decided this is the new plan for July 3rd at 5pm. Clarification: This does not mean I’ll be drinking with 14-18 year old kids. Or does it…


Hey, did you remember that I’m supposed to ride my bike to work every morning? I didn’t. Unfortunately I’m so stupid it hurts sometimes, and I didn’t plan ahead last night. I left my bike at work. So I did not ride my bike to work this morning. HOWEVER, as soon as I clocked out, I rode my bike from the office to my house, and swung around and rode it back to work, therefore completing the loop that should have begun this morning. “But Ben, doesn’t this mean that your bike is back at work?” – person with common sense.

Why yes, person with common sense, that’s exactly what it means. I bring Larry the dog with me to work every morning and last week he was crashing at my parents house and my mom was swinging him into work. That made it very easy to ride my bike to work.  Now that I have him back home, it’s going to be pretty difficult to take him to work on my bike. I’m just going to continue to clock out and make the round trip. That should be just fine.

Don’t look at me like that, Tommy. I know it’s screwed up, but I’m still trying to make it all work. Jeez.

I guess I could walk Larry to work. In my head it looks something like this:

On second thought, Larry would die if he had to walk that far. He’s sooo damn old. Larry is so old that he is, in fact, the one that let the dogs out. Larry is so old that his dad was the first dog domesticated by man. Larry is so old, when he squats to pee, dust comes out. Larry is so old that he got sick of these puns 20 years ago. My dog is not young.

I got out of noon hoops today and said the “ma lady” to a little girl that was with her mom and another lady…I remembered to keep a huge smile on my face to take away from the creepy beard (or add to it?)

I got a big smile from the girl and both ladies, first positive reaction in a while! At least they weren’t dudes this time. Whew. Work flew by for the rest of the day.

After the post-work bike ride, I got home and did my pushup workout. I swear I am getting worse at them, not better. I actually wasn’t that tired, so I thought I’d test the ankle on a jog. 1/3rd of a mile in and it was achy. I think I don’t notice it during basketball because I’m so focused on being a complete badass and dunking all over everyone not falling over my own feet.

I did actually buy myself something to make my stupid jog a little nicer. All exercise, actually. I bought ear buds that you mold in your ear and they harden, so they fit perfectly in your ear. They look awkward as Hell, but they REALLY work:

I got mine from www.earfuze.com. They were 50 bucks.

I’ve probably spent 100 bucks or more over the years trying to find good ear buds that fit and don’t fall out. When I got my new Droid phone with Beats Audio by Dr. Dre, they came with some fancy schmancy ear buds that made me a little excited. They fall out of my ears so often, I would have rather had my phone come with actual beets by Dre:

Is buying solid exercise ear buds a commitment to exercise? No. Does it make exercise a little more easy? Yes. How f*cking annoying is it when people do this in conversation? Very.

So the ankle is still in a bit of pain, but overall I really feel healthier. After my attempt at the jog, I ripped out all the plastic landscape edging all the way around the house. Project 4 of 4 COMPLETE! I treated myself to some Bacon for dinner. Actually I had an awesome dinner if I do say so myself:

sad/happy cyclops food

I cut the middle out of the bread and dumped an egg in. I put the bacon on top of each piece, then put them together to make a delicious runny egg sandwich. Who says I can’t cook?

My RAOK for the day was more of a setup for a bigger one down the road, but it’s a pretty big one so I’ll allow it. I filled out the application and submitted it to www.wish.org to volunteer for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Hopefully I’ll get a call back next week about it. It probably won’t fall in the 30 day challenge, but that’s ok, I’m going to try to make volunteering a habit anyway.

I’ve started my 4th and final book for the month, I found it amongst some books I packed up a while ago. It’s called “The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, And Join The New Rich”

I’m calling immediate bullshit. I remember I bought this from a Borders store that was going out of business for like 90% off the cover price, then never read it. Hopefully I’ll glean one or two things from it at least. I’m not getting my hopes up. Actually, the only way I can think of to have a 4 hour work week and live the rich life, is to write a book. Maybe this is a how-to book on writing a how-to book?

So that’s day twenty two. So much to remember, so little brain space. SHIT.


  1. Keeping a blog of my shenanigans and updating it daily. Duh. (SUCCESS)
  2. Waking up every day before 8am. This includes Saturdays and Sundays (SUCCESS) Yeah, I’m surprised too.
  3. Go for a jog every day. (SUCCESS) Bike ride plus 1/3 of a mile today…
  4. Do a “Green Blend” every day. (I’ve missed ONE)
  5. Do not cut my hair or shave for the month (this is one of my friends just being a dick). (SUCCESS) Growing it out for locksoflove.org!
  6. Use the term “ma lady” (including the hand gesture) once a day. (SUCCESS)
  7. No television! (SUCCESS)
  8. Nothing other than water to drink (INCLUDING no alcohol). (SUCCESS)
  9. Full abstinence including “self” pleasure. (SUCCESS)
  10. No logging onto Facebook. (SUCCESS)
  11. Complete one project around the house every week. (4 of 4 SUCCESS) DONE!
  12. Volunteer two times somewhere. (3 of 2 SUCCESS)
  13. Read one book every week. (3 of 4 SUCCESS)
  14. Say something positive into the mirror about myself every morning. (SUCCESS)
  15. Do one random act of kindness a every day. (SUCCESS)
  16. Do one workout besides the morning jog every day (SUCCESS)
  17. No biting the fingernails. (SUCCESS)
  18. Make every meal that I eat, with one “cheat” meal per week. (SUCCESS)
  19. Text msg 5 people every day and share a compliment/oddity/or fun fact. (SUCCESS)
  20. Be on time to work everyday (SUCCESS) It’s gotta be a damn record.


  1. Weight lift everyday except Sundays (SUCCESS) also acceptable is a pushup routine.
  2. Bike to work and back everyday that I go to work (SUCCESS) Meh…biking there and back. Maybe not to and from.
  4. Wake up before 7 instead of 8 everyday. (SUCCESS)
  1. Carrie says:

    Great book! 🙂

  2. Sarah Culp (you dont know me, im Carys sister) :-) says:

    I just wondered if when you walk out of the ymca after noon hoops, you ever turn arouns and look behind you, because i imagine there are several random women following you waitin to be your next “meh lady”… just sayin. You should check it out!!

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