I have one solid week left. Seven days. One hundred and sixty eight hours. Ten thousand and eighty minutes. Holy shit that’s a lot of minutes.  Next time you are on vacation for a week, just tell yourself you have more than 10,000 minutes to use up before you have to go back to work. That sounds much better than one week. You’re welcome.

Technically I have a little less than 10,000 minutes, because I’m stopping at 5pm on July 3rd. Whatever, the point is. I have a week of this bullshit left. It’s self imposed and I could really stop right now if I wanted to. You know why I’m not stopping now? I’ve made it this far and it would be letting myself down. HA. Just kidding.

I’m not stopping because Monday, I had 100 more people read this crap than normal. People are reading this stuff for some reason, and I like entertaining you all more than I want to watch two chicks get an extra sausage pizza delivered. Oh, it’s close…no question, but you are winning that mental war I’m having on a daily basis…for now.

With only 7 days left, I’ve been considering my options for after July 3rd. I’ve decided to keep writing the blog after I stumbled across someone’s blog today. I was searching for things you could do in 7 days, and I came upon this girl’s Weekolution blog. It’s a great idea. She picked one thing to do every week, and then wrote between 1 and 3 posts about it during the week. The only problem is she stopped after 11 weeks. Also, some of the posts didn’t have followups so you can’t see how she did with them. I don’t want my tiny mark on the interwebs to look like that. I want to have a lush and rich garden of stupid jokes and random posts that people can skim and then forget. THIS IS ‘MERICA! AND BY GUM, IMA DO IT!

So now that I’ve decided to blog past the July 3rd date. I’m going to need ideas of what to do to myself for your entertainment. I know that I want to keep the bucket list idea going, I had the original post on June 15th with the following:

My Bucket List until December 31st 11:59pm of 2012 is as follows:

  1. Dunk a basketball.
  2. Raise 500 dollars of other people’s money for the LaPorte Small Animal Shelter (It’s easy to donate, harder to raise those funds).
  3. Go on a 4 day weekend getaway somewhere tropical by myself.
  4. Meet a famous person, people from reality TV don’t count.
  5. Become SCUBA certified.
  6. Attempt to break a Guinness World Record
  7. Learn to play one entire song on an instrument.

So here are latest additions or “the sequel” if you like:

Part two of the bucket list:

8. Start a side business, or create some form of secondary revenue stream.

9. Achieve one of the following: 1) Weigh 205 pounds. 2) Have under 10% body fat 3) Have noticeable abs

10. Bungee Jump (I’m 100% f*cking terrified of heights)

11. Learn to Juggle four beanbags at once.

12. Complete a sprint triathlon.

I think that’s enough to keep me out of trouble until 2013. I’m going to keep today’s post about my actual shenanigans a little lighter than normal due to my above ramblings.

I played basketball at Noon Hoops, rode 3.5 miles on my bike, tried to jog again, played basketball tonight for an hour, moved a couch into my house, and moved a couch and chair out of my house. I’d say the exercise portion is a big check mark.

I almost grabbed a Gatorade out of my parents’ fridge this afternoon. That was a close one. It was more habit than anything, I really don’t miss anything other than the beer.

I was in the gas station today and the girl behind the counter told me that I should buy a 1 dollar donation for some charity because she was in a contest and it would help her win. I don’t normally buy those. When I told her I would take 5 of them, she seemed genuinely shocked. RAOK done.


I’m not making this up at all. I woke up this morning from a crazy dream. It wasn’t a sex dream, and you weren’t juggling chainsaws in it. Yesterday I signed up to be a Make-A-Wish volunteer. I did it right before I went to bed, so I’m hoping this is where the dream came from and it’s not one of those Final Destination type premonitions. That would suck. Granted, this isn’t logs off the back of a truck type stuff, but still. BTW, If you haven’t seen the cinematic classic Final Destination 2, allow me to get you caught up:

Now that we’re all all the same page, I’m just saying I hope this was just a dream and not a premonition.

ANYWAY, quit interrupting me and let me tell you about the dream:

I was a Make-A-Wish volunteer and I was at the hospital going to see a sick child to ask him what his wish was going to be. We get to the kid’s room and he’s looking pretty rough. Sickly and pale, and hooked up to a bunch of tubes, I remember in my dream feeling really sad. So the coordinator person leans in and asks him what he wants his wish to be, and the kid says that he doesn’t want to tell her, he wants to tell me. I get that nervous, stage fright type feeling as I walk over to this little kid in his hospital bed, in front of all of these faceless people that are in the room with us. I say, “Ok champ, what would you like?” He motions for me to come closer and of course I do, I lean in and softly say it again, “What would you like?” He looks up at me, then over to his mom and dad in the corner, they nod approvingly, the mom with tears in her eyes. The little guy leans in and whispers just loud enough for everyone to hear, “I wish you would shave your f*cking beard.”

When I woke up from that dream, I immediately wrote all of that down so I wouldn’t forget it. I tried to remember as much detail as I could. Of course, in the dream, that was mortifying. Of course I was laughing as I was writing it down this morning.

What a way to start your day.

So that’s day twenty three, is it all over yet?


  1. Keeping a blog of my shenanigans and updating it daily. Duh. (SUCCESS)
  2. Waking up every day before 8am. This includes Saturdays and Sundays (SUCCESS) Yeah, I’m surprised too.
  3. Go for a jog every day. (SUCCESS) Bike ride plus extra basketball plus a sad attempt at jogging
  4. Do a “Green Blend” every day. (I’ve missed ONE)
  5. Do not cut my hair or shave for the month (this is one of my friends just being a dick). (SUCCESS) Growing it out for locksoflove.org!
  6. Use the term “ma lady” (including the hand gesture) once a day. (SUCCESS)
  7. No television! (SUCCESS)
  8. Nothing other than water to drink (INCLUDING no alcohol). (SUCCESS)
  9. Full abstinence including “self” pleasure. (SUCCESS)
  10. No logging onto Facebook. (SUCCESS)
  11. Complete one project around the house every week. (4 of 4 SUCCESS) DONE!
  12. Volunteer two times somewhere. (3 of 2 SUCCESS)
  13. Read one book every week. (3 of 4 SUCCESS)
  14. Say something positive into the mirror about myself every morning. (SUCCESS)
  15. Do one random act of kindness a every day. (SUCCESS)
  16. Do one workout besides the morning jog every day (SUCCESS)
  17. No biting the fingernails. (SUCCESS)
  18. Make every meal that I eat, with one “cheat” meal per week. (SUCCESS)
  19. Text msg 5 people every day and share a compliment/oddity/or fun fact. (SUCCESS)
  20. Be on time to work everyday (SUCCESS) It’s gotta be a damn record.


  1. Weight lift everyday except Sundays (SUCCESS) also acceptable is a pushup routine.
  2. Bike to work and back everyday that I go to work (SUCCESS) Meh…biking there and back. Maybe not to and from.
  4. Wake up before 7 instead of 8 everyday. (SUCCESS)
  1. Bekah says:

    Hi! I am so very proud of you. 1- you are awesome B- thanks for saying I looked ravishing the other day. Great compliment. Also, if you need help raising money for the shelter I’d really like to help!

  2. Luke Starkey says:

    It just so happens that on August 3, the wonderful city of LaPorte is hosting a sprint triathlon! I’ll be there so I expect some support…count it as your RAOK!!!

  3. Would I ever miss an opportunity to make fun of you? I’ll BE THERE.

  4. Noelle Conklin says:


    Your blog is hilarious and very inspiring!

    Thanks for the laughter,


  5. That dream is awesome!!! Bravo on getting your brain to mess with you about your 30 day challenge.

  6. […] decided to continue the blog as a way to keep track of my bucket list for 2012. I am going to try to post as much as possible, as I’ve come to the conclusion that I […]

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