Tell me this actually ran in the USA today.

I hope this was a real infographic that the USA Today ran. I personally enjoy it when the sun goes from 120 degrees to 80 degrees and then back to 120 degrees. Well, I enjoyed that in May.

This is high-brow stuff, people. Anyway…

It was at least 96 degrees today.  I know because I was on a f*cking bike outside in the heat. I’ve realized I should have just called this blog “ShitBenDoesn’tDoEver” instead of willpowerthru.

Have you ever seen a guy riding a bike, and he just looked like the kind of guy that is only riding that bike because he’s between his 4th and 5th DUI and his license has been revoked? That was me today. I rode my bike to the post office after work to mail some invoices. With the beard and the hair, the plastic shopping bag full of letters, and the non-bike riding apparel (cargo shorts and a t shirt), I’m pretty sure if you saw me today you were saying, “That dude has multiple DUI’s”.

I don’t have multiple DUI’s.

It took me all of 26 seconds to start sweating through my shirt while on my little jaunt to the post office. Sweaty and homeless looking: Exactly what I thought of when I started this crap 25 days ago. “How is he single!?” All of the homeless ladies must be saying.

The beard is itchy and long, and it was so miserable on my face today. If I had a time machine and could only use it once, Hitler would still be alive, and my beard would not be included in this challenge.

Does anyone know where I can get some of these pills?

That would really help these last couple of days go by pretty quickly. I underestimated how much of a mental drain all this stuff would be. The physical stuff my body has gotten used to for the most part. Today I played basketball at noon, biked, jogged, did a calf workout, played basketball at 7pm, and took a walk. I’m not even really tired from that stuff, I simply think I need a bigger brain, or maybe just a more efficient one. Right now, I feel like this:

Two random things about today:

1. I’m actually looking forward to blending something besides green stuff. I’m sure bananas and strawberries and blueberries and kittens are probably going to blend up pretty well too.

2. Fun fact: The largest crocodile captured alive is 21 feet long and weighs one ton. If I didn’t make you laugh tonight, at least you have a fact that might impress a six year old.

My random act of kindness today was to cull out some clothes and donate them to Goodwill:

I saw my friend Nikki whilst delivering said clothes (she was donating too and can you believe she doesn’t even have a blog where she brags about it so people will think she’s a good person?).  As a reader of this blog, she can actually vouch that I donated these clothes, and did not simply toss some clothes on the floor, take a picture, and then laugh at you all for trusting me. (That was plan B if Goodwill was closed tonight)

I typed the name Nikki like four different ways before I settled on that particular guess. Normally, I would check Facebook to verify…sorry if it’s spelled wrong!

I’ll be going to back to the booze and whatnot in July, but along with it I’ll be volunteering much more than I ever did before.

I made my own someecard that I feel really sums it all up nicely:

Lastly, tonight I realized that while I don’t necessarily miss television all that much, I would have liked to have watched the NBA draft and Louis C.K.’s show “Louie” tonight. Instead, I read two chapters of a book.

So that’s day twenty five, I’m so tired.

Recap:

  1. Keeping a blog of my shenanigans and updating it daily. Duh. (SUCCESS)
  2. Waking up every day before 8am. This includes Saturdays and Sundays (SUCCESS) Yeah, I’m surprised too.
  3. Go for a jog every day. (SUCCESS) Bike ride plus extra basketball plus a sad attempt at jogging
  4. Do a “Green Blend” every day. (I’ve missed ONE)
  5. Do not cut my hair or shave for the month (this is one of my friends just being a dick). (SUCCESS) Growing it out for locksoflove.org!
  6. Use the term “ma lady” (including the hand gesture) once a day. (SUCCESS)
  7. No television! (SUCCESS)
  8. Nothing other than water to drink (INCLUDING no alcohol). (SUCCESS)
  9. Full abstinence including “self” pleasure. (SUCCESS)
  10. No logging onto Facebook. (SUCCESS)
  11. Complete one project around the house every week. (4 of 4 SUCCESS) DONE!
  12. Volunteer two times somewhere. (3 of 2 SUCCESS)
  13. Read one book every week. (3 of 4 SUCCESS)
  14. Say something positive into the mirror about myself every morning. (SUCCESS)
  15. Do one random act of kindness a every day. (SUCCESS)
  16. Do one workout besides the morning jog every day (SUCCESS)
  17. No biting the fingernails. (SUCCESS)
  18. Make every meal that I eat, with one “cheat” meal per week. (SUCCESS)
  19. Text msg 5 people every day and share a compliment/oddity/or fun fact. (SUCCESS)
  20. Be on time to work everyday (SUCCESS) It’s gotta be a damn record.

NEW ONES!

  1. Weight lift everyday except Sundays (SUCCESS) also acceptable is a pushup routine.
  2. Bike to work and back everyday that I go to work (SUCCESS) Meh…biking there and back. Maybe not to and from.
  3. LOW CARB DIET UNTIL IT’S OVER (SUCCESS)
  4. Wake up before 7 instead of 8 everyday. (SUCCESS)
Comments
  1. rmpanos says:

    Its the final countdowwwwwn…..

  2. elkanne says:

    I would really like it if you made a point of being extra creepy with “meh lady” these last few days. That’d be a nice way to finish, don’t you think?
    You’re almost there!

  3. So, is the blogging going to stop? What am I supposed to read in the morning, the news?

  4. mizzmarianne says:

    I like that the sun is literally stroking the thermometer….the face the sun is making is priceless…..gawd, even the sun is masturbating.

  5. Niki Frank says:

    Yeah I was pretty pissed I didn’t get a “Meh lady” Haha. Buuuut it’s ok. I was happy to see you and your beard!!!!

You're here...might as well say something...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s