July 8th

Posted: July 8, 2012 in Comedy, Diet, Inspiration, Motivation, Will Power
Tags: , , , ,

This is my view of America everyday:

meat shaped usa

‘Merica

I’m changing that view this week to this:

veggie usa, veggie america, america made of fruits and veggies, vegan

putting this together felt un-American

Isn’t that cute? I made that one. Who said I’m not crafty.

I’m going vegan. For a whole week.

Sunday 7/8/12 at noon to Sunday 7/15/12 at noon. And I had just properly disposed of the left over broccoli from all of the green blends I did last month:

This is probably going to be a little more difficult than normal because the LaPorte County Fair, which I am working for the family business, is also Sunday through Sunday. I’ll be there from 9am to 9 or 10pm everyday. There will be deep fried errrrything. I didn’t really think this through when I made the decision yesterday.

Fortunately I had a handful of real bacon bits at 11:57am, so I should be fine for the week.

I went to the grocery store to stock up on all things I could tolerate that don’t have meat or animal bi-products in them. Turns out it’s a short list.

It’s a short list because when I got excited about things like this:

vegan buffalo wings

I read the fine print and it looks like this:

morning star ingredients list

Well shit.

So I ended up with a haul that included soy milk, assorted fruit, nuts, and the like:

vegan

Those are nectarines in that bag next to the grapes…don’t think I’ve ever had one. Hopefully they taste just like bacon.

I don’t know if you can see directly to the right of the Cocoa Pebbles, I bought honey. In my stupid brain I’m thinking, man, I can’t have butter, so I’ll get some honey instead. F*cking bees. Who let them be animals anyway? So yes, I took out the honey. Looking at that picture, I could probably eat all of that in one sitting. So that’s supposed to be my week. We’ll see how it goes. Have fun eating fair food everyone! I’m sure I’ll rival you with my silk vanilla shit faux milk and bananas…

If anyone that is vegan wants to help a brother out by telling me what other hidden gems I’m missing out on please leave me a comment…but if you say tofu I will punch you, fair warning.

The vegan week is going to fall under #9, because I’m sure hoping this crap pays off a little bit in the lbs department. I lost 19 pounds last month going from 275 to 256. I put back 4 pounds over the course of the 4th of July holiday espectacularrrrrr (roll your r’s if you can and that word is awesome)and am currently right at 260. Here goes nothin’.

My Bucket List until December 31st 11:59pm of 2012 is as follows:

  1. Dunk a basketball.
  2. Raise 500 dollars of other people’s money for the LaPorte Small Animal Shelter (It’s easy to donate, harder to raise those funds).
  3. Go on a 4 day weekend getaway somewhere tropical by myself.
  4. Meet a famous person, people from reality TV don’t count.
  5. Become SCUBA certified.
  6. Attempt to break a Guinness World Record Most people in one place wearing sunglasses at night! 7/6/2012! Wrigley Field!
  7. Learn to play one entire song on an instrument.
  8.  Start a side business, or create some form of secondary revenue stream. *Your multi-level marketing pyramid scheme is not what I’m looking for, sorry*
  9.  Achieve one of the following: 1) Weigh 205 pounds. 2) Have under 10% body fat 3) Have noticeable abs
  10.  Bungee Jump (I’m 100% f*cking terrified of heights)
  11.  Learn to Juggle four beanbags at once.
  12.  Complete a sprint triathlon
Comments
  1. Ryan Panos says:

    I swear on my life I will NOT taunt you this week. I will only encourage your efforts! Get after it buddy boy!!!

  2. Kelly says:

    This is AMAZING. Love it!!!

  3. 1.) Your video of kicking broccoli is awesome!

    2.) I am unashamedly against this. You can’t trust someone that doesn’t eat meat. Plus, vegans are stinky. How are you going to survive fair week with no animal-tested personal hygiene implements?!?!?

    3.) Eat some damn beans and lentils. At least you’ll still get some protein. Eat a lot of soy, get too much estrogen, and enjoy your new boobs.

    4.) This is probably going to be hilarious during fair week! Good show!

  4. rinnieeats says:

    Your 4lb gain is most likely water weight. Don’t sweat it….or do…because then the 4lbs will disappear because IT’S ONLY WATER WEIGHT! I’m confused as to why Ryan is not going to taunt you because this is crazier than what you did last week. At least it will provide the rest of us with a week of laughs!

  5. erin christ says:

    Hey Ben, I have been on and off again vegan so I thought I would help you out a bit. 1st off I would recommend trying for a little longer than 1 week. I know it sounds crazy, but if you eat a lot of animal products normally you will probably feel like crap for majority of the first week while you adjust. I have always done it for at least 6 weeks to a couple of months, but I know that sounds scary. Anyways, some things that are easy to add that I didn’t see in your picture; beans, leafy greens, more vegetables, oats, and something that is also good called quinoa. Canned beans are really easy to add to almost anything from rice and veggies to pasta. Leafy dark greens are key here. They are a major source of calcium and other vitamins. Spinach is an easy one because it cooks down really well and you can add it to pasta really easy. Go for a wide variety of veggies that way you will get an assortment of vitamins and you might find something new you like. Oats, I eat oatmeal pretty much everyday for breakfast. I make it from the quick oats and not the pre-packaged stuff. Just add some fruit and a little brown sugar and it’s not too bad. One other thing I mentioned is quinoa. It is a grain that is one of the few complete plant proteins which is better for you since most plant protein is incomplete so you have to eat a wide variety to get all of the right proteins. Anyways, hope some of that is useful. Just don’t over think it. A lot of times I would literally mix a couple of bags of frozen veggies together, add some black beans, a little brown rice, and some spices and that was dinner.

  6. Nik says:

    Swedish fish are vegan,

  7. Luke Starkey says:

    Boca burgers make a Vegan hamburger that’s not too shabby. There’s a brand of stuff called Tofurkey that makes deli “meat”…stuff like turkey slices, along with polish sausage, Italian sausage, brats. You really can’t tell the difference. Here’s an easy recipe: grill some green, red, yellow, and orange peppers, mushrooms, and onion with olive oil. Mix together olive oil, 2tablespoons of chili powder, garlic, and a little lime juice. Mix with the veggies. Put it all on a grilled corn tortilla for a wonderful vegan tostada!

  8. elkanne says:

    Silk vanilla soy milk is WAY better than cow’s milk. It’ll make your cereal taste awesome, promise.

  9. Did you buy peanuts? I’m all for a good challenge but perhaps you should try going vegetarian for a week at some point. I did that for 2 years and it dropped my blood pressure and improved my overall health massively. In the meanwhile check out this website for ideas. Good luck buddy.

    http://www.veganwolf.com/veganmenu.htm

  10. Nicole says:

    Ok, since when are Coco pebbles vegan…wha wha?! Kudos on the world record. 😉 And you could go bungie jumping in TJ at the bar like I did in law school. It’s only $25 bucks at Bar Izzy, sweet! Definitely the best, most safest idea I’ve ever had. For sure. And as far as the vegan thing, as long as you aren’t on the Chinese olymipic team you should be ok, just sit down if you get a head rush. Good luck!

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