After I wrote this entire post I realized how REALLY random it is tonight. Just a heads up. Enjoy!

I’ve decided to do another willpower month. Septemberish. I’ll be taking suggestions on my Facebook page and in the comments sometime in August. From now until then I’ll be doing sporadic things like this stupid vegan diet. I have a a few great ones coming up that I really think borderline short-bus stupid. I’m going back in time to before the use of cell phones in one, and the second time travel challenge is yet to be worked out…but it’s going to involve me making my own soap or something 1700’s style. Who knows, I just said the second one hasn’t really been worked out. Get off my back.

That’s that.

So TODAY! I went to the gym after opening up the good ole booth at the LP county fair. Guess what I didn’t do? Put gas in my car. So I ran out of gas on my way to the gym AGAIN. That’s TWICE in 30 days. I think these challenges really screw with my brain. I’m pretty sure the last time I ran out of gas other than back in June was back in college. I remember my girlfriend at the time was PISSED that I ran out of gas rather than being able to laugh it off like myself. We aren’t together anymore, if you were wondering. I do wonder whatever happened to good ole Sharkteeth (her gums were so big that her teeth closed before her lips did, or so the joke went).

Anyway….Sorry about that, I got off on a tangent and didn’t tell you it was one. I guess that’s why you read my stuff, for the M. Night Shyamalan type twists I conjure up.

So after I took care of the gas situation I rewarded myself by going and purchasing two burritos from Mucho Mas! (the exclamation point is in their name…I wasn’t that excited about a burrito) Ok, maybe I was.

ANYWAY

I explained to the gentlemen behind the counter what I was looking for, and they gave me something with tofu, guacamole, pico de gallo, and black beans. Other than those ingredients, I have NO idea what was in it. This is what it looked like:

It was 100% delicious. I don’t care if this stuff was made by

I would have asked for seconds. Oh wait, I DID ask for seconds as I ate TWO of those glorious bastards today. That’s literally what I ate today. Two Mucho Mas vegan burritos today and some non-dairy ice cream tonight. I’m still a little hungry, but eh…I think my sodium level is dangerously close to “stroke-victim in four minutes”. So I’m just going to go to sleep a little hungry. I may just go get two more of them tomorrow. They were that tasty. It ALMOST made me not miss meat. I say almost because screw that, I’ll always miss Bacon. I miss Bacon when I am at a restaurant and I order Bacon, they bring me Bacon, I eat the Bacon, I want more Bacon, I order more Bacon, and I’m simply waiting for that Bacon to arrive at my table. Bacon.

One tangent thing I do want to mention as I totes mcgoats* forgot yesterday was the glorious creation of the most hillbilly country song ever: “Mullet-Town”. I’ll save you the lyrical particulars, but my buddy Ryan came up with the title, and we both wrote a chorus and a few verses. Here’s a little of my version: (Do you’re absolute best twangy country voice while you read these and you’ll probably have a good time, I know I did)

The chorus:

Business up front,

Party in the back,

Lovin’ on a woman,

Now that’s where it’s at.

A lyrical sample of a verse:

Tall Coors Light,

Aluminum pint,

Had 3 or 4,

Could go for one more….

Took my lifted F-150,

Out for some county fairin’

Didn’t take long,

To get the county starin’

Because it’s………

Business up front,

Party in the back,

Lovin’ on a woman,

Now that’s where it’s at.

I’m pretty sure heat stroke played a roll in the creation of such an exquisite country ballad. Also, Toby Keith is already looking at me pretty hard for the rights to it. He’ll somehow add a bald eagle or something about stars and stripes, then he’ll go platinum. Science.

Tomorrow night I’ll be cooking myself vegan dinner. That should be interesting. Sunday cannnnnot come soon enough.

My Bucket List until December 31st 11:59pm of 2012 is as follows:

  1. Dunk a basketball.
  2. Raise 500 dollars of other people’s money for the LaPorte Small Animal Shelter (It’s easy to donate, harder to raise those funds).
  3. Go on a 4 day weekend getaway somewhere tropical by myself.
  4. Meet a famous person, people from reality TV don’t count.
  5. Become SCUBA certified.
  6. Attempt to break a Guinness World Record Most people in one place wearing sunglasses at night! 7/6/2012! Wrigley Field!
  7. Learn to play one entire song on an instrument.
  8.  Start a side business, or create some form of secondary revenue stream. *Your multi-level marketing pyramid scheme is not what I’m looking for, sorry*
  9.  Achieve one of the following: 1) Weigh 205 pounds. 2) Have under 10% body fat 3) Have noticeable abs
  10.  Bungee Jump (I’m 100% f*cking terrified of heights)
  11.  Learn to Juggle four beanbags at once.
  12.  Complete a sprint triathlon

*I love you, man is still a relevant thing to quote, right Brosef Stalin?

Comments
  1. rmpanos says:

    YES!!! Mullet Town!!! Get that shit trending on Twitter #MulletTown

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