I was so sore when I woke up today, I feel like I fought Bane.

bane batman dark knight rises

Come at me, bro!

Here is a list of the things that are sore or brusied:

My…feet, neck, shoulders, abs, upper back, lower back, butt, ankles, quads, hamstrings, biceps, chest, face, and somehow…my junk.

I fell down at least 39 times yesterday. There were only two obstacles that I went around instead of over, due to them having a 4 foot or so drop off and I didn’t trust my knees to not snap off at the patella during my attempt to stick the landing. I looked it up and I finished in one hour and twenty five minutes. I spent about 3 minutes helping a few random people get up a mud wall, and another 5 or so helping to coax a young lady to jump onto and then slide down a 20 foot fireman’s pole that she was REALLY scared to try (she did it). I wasn’t too worried about finishing quickly, I simply wanted to finish and not get hurt. Mission accomplished.

Thankfully I don’t have anything going on as far as scheduled exercises. I definitely need a rest day. I’m at the company booth out at the fair, and this is what I look like:

So tired. So, so tired. I plan on taking a coma tonight. Anyway, how are you? I feel like it’s been a while since we’ve talked. How’s work? Really? Well did you tell him that’s a bad idea? Well if you don’t bring it up, nothing will change. Just saying.
So today starts

I’m going to weigh myself when I get home. I expect it to say something like 255 pounds. I’ve done the math (I’m not very good at math) and if all goes well, 100 days from now I’m going to be down approximately 42 pounds. That would put me in the 213 pound area. I haven’t been under 230 in ten years. I’ve got everything in place to kick the shit out of this challenge. I feel like this is going to be 3.3 times harder than the 30 day challenge in many respects, simply due to having to always watch what I’m eating/drinking/how much I’m exercising.  Thankfully, myfitnesspal keeps a decently accurate account of what the heck I’m doing. Also thankfully, I’m not abstinent this time around. Whew.

Psychologically, I think it’s more important to say things like “This is who I am, this is what I do, this is how I eat” Instead of “I just have to do this for now, this is only temporary, I can’t eat that for now, I’m giving up that for the time being” That will probably go out the window after the first week, but it’s a good mentality to have when I start this. I’m going to be eating a ton of protein and fiber and try to stay away from super processed and sugary foods. Sounds really easy doesn’t it? Maybe I’ll go back to the green blending…HA just kidding.

I’m going to have to post nightly calorie totals and a quick summary of what I ate to keep myself honest. That’s going to probably get annoying after a little while, but I think it’s pretty important. Studies have shown that it works, and I’m a fan of studies. I’m also going to knock off the drinking/going out. Everyone says things like “I really need to take it easy”, and then they never do. So for the next month or so, I’ll be taking it easy socially. I’m looking forward to taking care of some more stuff around the house. Getting some pictures hung, some landscaping done, some real manly stuff, I tell ya.

I’m leaving the fair early tonight, it’s pretty slow and I’m extremely tired. I want to drift off to dream land where Jessica Biel and I will be reenacting this scene from I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry:


I wonder if I stare at this gif long enough, I can make myself dream about it. Unfortunately, I think that I’d probably end up dreaming about Adam Sandler in drag.


Hopefully everyone had a less body destroying weekend than I did. Here’s to taking it easy, my friends.

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