I’m going to start tonight with a great, like, feel good story about America. Who the f*ck doesn’t like a great feel good story about America, besides Hitler?

F*ck Hitler.

I don’t know if you saw this or how prevalent it was on the television (i don’t have cable, don’t give me that look).

Evidently this is a thing that happened and now I’m going to file the paperwork to be Jamaican:

Seriously, the reason why I give two shits about this, is that that dude isn’t American. He just noticed that another country was being honored and he thought to himself “oh hey, why don’t I not be selfish for a second” Good for you dude. I don’t give a shit if you did it because you knew the cameras were looking or not. You did it. Good for you.

THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPH HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WILLPOWER IT’S JUST STUPID TALK:

Continuing on this weird American trip, I was in the truck with Charlie today and we were listening to the terrible local AM radio. I heard the following exchange, I’m paraphrasing as usual, but this is pretty accurate:

When I was a child, we recited Bible passages in school. Then there was this atheist mother who didn’t like that her child was made to read Bible passages, and so she sued the school so that her child didn’t have to recite Bible passages in school. And She Won! To me, that’s like when one person gets pulled over on the highway for speeding, every car on the highway at that time has to pull over, even though they weren’t speeding. We all have to pay for one person’s decision.

If you just read that paragraph, and you agree with that sentiment, it’s been a good ride for you and I. Seriously, we’ve had some laughs. Right now though, you need to take two big steps back, and literally try to fuck your own face. Then go cover yourself in gasoline and light a fucking candle. You’ll notice I didn’t censor the word fuck. I don’t normally make that big of a deal about anything, and I always censor the word fuck, because you should only use the word fuck when you really want to fucking draw attention to something.  I may have JUST fucking said I would never make this a political statement blog or whatever, but COME ON. FUCK that. I don’t know if you’ve ever read any history about this country, or what we’re all about, but it was founded because some people really didn’t want to be persecuted based on their religion. Now you are saying that you have a problem with someone who doesn’t want to be forced to believe what you believe? Holy fucking shit. That took less time than I thought it would take. (full disclosure I thought it would take 3 billion, trillion years).

Ok I’m back to censoring the word F*ck. I’ll still capitalize it, though. It’s pretty important.

Anyway.

I want to say that I feel like people lack perspective. People stub a toe and complain to a person that had their leg amputated last week. It’s the way of the world for some reason. I actively try to live my life with full perspective. I like to think that I actually have perspective. I still fail at it. I wish I had perspective. I don’t. Here’s why:

Our accounting software took a shit at work. It makes it impossible to do what I/we need to do on a daily basis. Its in the process of being fixed. It doesn’t stop anyone from getting their gutter job done, it just makes it next to impossible for me to do my job on time. Also, our email stopped working 2 weeks ago and for whatever reason, it’s still not up and running. Also, our estimator is leaving us after 20 years on the job and I’m supposed to step into that role right off the bat. I will say for the first time in a very very very very long time, I actually feel stress. I wake up in the middle of the night in cold sweats, I get all amped up for no reason at weird times, I freak out over next to nothing. I get pissy. I feel shitty. I talk shit about people that meek out a living on AM radio (see above if you were too stupid to follow along tonight). SEE? I just did it. Shit.

Anyway. The problem with everything I’ve said tonight is that instead of being a good person that is full of will power, I did everything I was supposed to do and then I drank some booze. Then I ordered a pizza. Even though I did what I was supposed to do for the day, I lapsed enormously in judgement. It all got to me. The whole stupid paragraph above, I let it get to me. I can’t hang with the big boys of willpower. I don’t have what it takes to abstain from feeling bad…on top of all of that, I ordered a stuffed crust pizza with pepperoni and sausage to be delivered to my house so that I could mouth rape it.

Then I thought about it.

Then this happened:

So it turns out I have barely enough willpower to waste money.

Yay! wait……..shit.

Also Charlie (the guy that’s teaching me the finer points of estimating for the fambiz)’s wife put this together for me. She said that basically I’m the stupid kid of the guy that owns the company, trying to sell shit under the nerdy tutelage of the guy that has no personality, but all of the answers (at least those were her words in my head):

I think it’s pretty accurate, and it also made me laugh after what I perceive to be a tough day, even though there’s some kid out there with cancer right now calling me a pussy, and rightfully so. Sorry kid with cancer, my bad.

Comments
  1. rmpanos says:

    Dude I applaud you for not eating pizza. I’m sorry that you had a tough day man. I wish you coulda been out there for some ball tonight though. Keep on truckin man. You have accomplished so much this year so far you are ALLOWED to have a bad day. I’m here for ya if ya need a punching bag or just a pal to vent to!!! You got this shit bro

  2. nicole gallagher says:

    Awe…hugs! Just get a mug like I have that says “Fuck you, ya fucking FUCK.” And as for sleeping, it may sound small, but stretching before bed has helped me a lot in the past. I know how stress can rob your life of sleep. Sweet dreams!! And thanks for being more imspirational on your worst day than I am on my best! 🙂

  3. This is for you today:

    Here’s the truth. The people that are awesome every day, aren’t trying hard enough. If you never fail, it’s not a challenge. The willpower is found in continuing even after a bad day. That’s what is going to make you great at the Fambiz. You are Tommy. You are the goofy kid that has all the skills but just needs to have a frustrating experience to find his rhythm.

    Yesterday was necessary. Today was proof that you aren’t done. F*ck that pizza. F*ck your fears and anxiety while you are at it. This is where you will find strength.

    Keep your head up.

  4. rinnieeats says:

    If you notice, Cary has been trying to do the whole “perspective” thing for 169 days. He does a fantastic job…on his blog… but as I’m sure you can guess, it’s not sunshine and roses all the time. The point is he powers through and chooses to see the good. You did the same thing today. You decided that yes it was a bad day, but there are worse things in life and that pizza wasn’t worth your time. Super ridiculously proud of you! IF I could eat gluten I don’t know if I would have been able to resist that cheesy goodness. Thank you for being real. Positivity is important, it helps keep the grump away, but every now and then a good gripe does wonders.

  5. Abby Hacker says:

    I hope things get better and less stressful for you! You should add meditation to your list…maybe that would help?!

  6. FloddymcPoopin says:

    next time call me and i will come get the pizza 🙂

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