August 16th

Posted: August 16, 2012 in bucket list, Comedy, Diet, Inspiration, Motivation, Will Power

Today had a couple of challenges. Here are the results:

First off, the cinnamon challenge,

I think I used too much cinnamon, Thanks Melissa Hinshaw!

Here’s the picture I took of the aftermath, so you know I didn’t just leave that for the birds to get at. HOWEVER, how cool would it be too see birds doing the cinnamon challenge?

Next up was the skinny jeans thing. Hold a sign that says “Honk if you want to abolish skinny jeans”. Do you want to know the ONE thing I absolutely didn’t think of? I didn’t think that I would make eye contact with a pre-teen girl in her mom’s mini-van, and have her shake her head no, and then argue with me about skinny jeans. THAT HAPPENED. It’s on the video. Also, I didn’t find skinny jeans that fit over my calf muscles. For whatever reason (carrying around 260-285 pounds most of your life) my calf muscles are enormous. 19″ to be exact. I can’t wear a lot of jeans due to that fact. I found some old size 36 jeans, squeezed into them, and then duct taped the ankles and pinned behind the knees to get the skinny jean look. I also tied my shirt like a homosexual man living in Miami in ’93. Bless my mother, Cile, she took time out of her day to videotape me doing this crap. She’s what you call, “good people”.

Unfortunately, I’m not very talented at video editing, and something as simple as “flipping a movie upside down”, is impossible for me. My mom turned the cell phone to the side, and that ended up being the upside down angle…who knew? You can easily get the idea of what happened by watching the video…right side up or not:

Here are a couple of pictures too, Thanks Holly Davis Daly!

and of course….

So that’s that.

And then there was this….DAMN YOU JUSTIN HOLMQUEST:

Proof is below. The sound cut out after a few seconds on this video. But if you skip to the following parts here’s whats going on, and it almost makes it better, seriously:

:025 sound cuts out

1:32 I start to struggle, my dad has been talking shit for 30 seconds or so and I say “That’s my father”, my mom pans over to him, and he keeps talking shit. My favorite line: “Quit being a pussy”. Love you, dad.

2:04 I say “Thank you” while cautioning my father that he’s been making fun of me constantly for the last minute of my life, and it’s enough. He stops.

2:15 I make the decision in my head to HURRY THE F*CK UP BECAUSE MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE!

Here’s the clip:

That hurt my soul. Really. Fire. Pure FIRE.

Lastly tonight, I leave you with my Chris Farley impersonation as Matt Foley the motivational speaker. This is a video of what I remember from the episode with Christina Applegate and David Spade. I didn’t look it up first, I just thought about it and tried to act it out. It’s all jacked up. But there you have it, Francisco. I even slicked my hair down for it! Pony up the dough!:


SO…That was fun. Ok, that’s a lie. That wasn’t fun. But it was for a good cause, so I’m all about that aspect.

I’m tired. Good. NIGHT.

Comments
  1. Debra Ingram says:

    Ben, these were hysterical!!!!!! What a wonderful thing to do. I couldn’t hear the Wings video. Cile another camera problem????? lol I need to come up with something for you to do myself.

    • That one wasn’t my mom’s fault…I don’t know what happened….the audio just cut out….it’s ok thought, I gave the play by play as best I could! 🙂 Your donation would be much appreciated…just let me know what you’d like to see!!!! 🙂

  2. FloddyMcPoopin says:

    this blog is phenomenal bro

  3. Andrea Leslie says:

    Love it! Thanks Ben!

  4. abbyhacker says:

    I’d like to give a donation…I’ll have to mail it to your or something though. I know just what I’d like to see too! You know Jenna Marbles? And how she always has her little dog and goes on these little rants about random stuff? I want you to do a rant like that…she has one on what Disney movies taught her..I’d like to hear your version of what Disney movies taught you, and I’d like to see some clips of Larry, like she does with her pup. Ha 🙂 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rT28Z0xM88) And you don’t have to curse like she does…I know this site is usually family friendly!

    • hahaha I love it. I’m so doing that tonight. I just don’t know if I can do the jump cuts/editing that she does because I’m computer stupid. I’ll try though!

      • abbyhacker says:

        yesss!! Also, sometimes she sticks her dog in her shirt and it’s hilarious! No rush…take as long as you want! I’ll need your addy so I can send you monies. Send me a text with it please 🙂

  5. Aunt Penny says:

    I normally watch something just once, but I must say, I watched your cinnamon challenge three times – so far. It’s the best laugh I’ve had in a long time. Tears were rolling down my cheeks! Thanks for the good laugh! I, too, am thinking of something for you to do – I’ll let you know sometime Saturday morning. Love you!

  6. […] appreciate two friends of mine Ben Konowitz and Cary Kirk for basically telling me to get right.  I chalk it up to some tough love on their […]

  7. KB says:

    So, what say you do Matt Foley for my theater classes!?!?!?! You gotta get the glasses tho…

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