October 24th

Posted: October 24, 2012 in bucket list, Comedy, Diet, exercise, Inspiration, Motivation, weight loss, Will Power

I worked 11 hours today and forgot to eat again. I guess that’s better than eating something crappy. HOWEVER. (See, right there I was going to do another ‘big butt’ sight gag) I thought it was getting old…


Then I remembered how awesome it is to show pictures of big booties. That one’s for the ladies…you’re welcome…and NO it’s not me…I can’t get a chick with a booty that nice to hold my hand, without her asking for the money up front.


I should probably start doing things to get ready for this big party Saturday, but I’ve decided to just let that go and it’ll probably just take care of itself.

Actually I just need a few hours on Saturday to get everything together. It’s going to be bad ass, you should totally come. All the proceeds from the party are going to the person that turned in the Jimmy John’s thief. The cops contacted me (for the first time in my life I’m saying that in a good way) and told me they’d rather have the proceeds go to the guy that gave them the info and got the douche arrested instead of the FOP. You should never argue with the police. So I’m doing just that.  All money collected after paying for the beer, will go to that person! Yay, society!

The good news is that if you hate cops and didn’t want to donate money to the FOP, now you aren’t! You’re donating money to the someone who actively sought out and served JUSTICE.

You’re basically giving money to Batman.

If I had more time, I’d make up wristbands that said, “I gave money to Batman.”

F*ck Livestrong, I’m batstrong.

Patent Pending, Trademarked, Registered, Copy-written, if you steal it I’m telling my mom.

So as far as the party, I’m paying for the port-o-potty, the costume contest prize, and the other miscellaneous thingys associated with throwing a splendiferous bash, and you are paying for the beer and then the donation. If you would like to give more than 5 bucks, that would be cool.

So Halloween is my favorite holiday and here’s a huge reason why:

Well one of MANY reasons why. Yes, hot chicks in sexy/slutty outfits. That’s pretty sweet.

HOWEVER…a bigger reason is this….let’s say you are driving down the road in May..and you see this outside of a local business…

It would not be acceptable at all and there would probably be some uproar about how suicide is never funny and blah blah screw you.


I’m going to digress here for a second and say that when I was growing up, as I got to be a teenager, I realized that my dad repeated a lot of his stories. He told you the story, you laughed, it was clever, whatever. Then like 3 days later he tells you the same story again because he doesn’t remember if he told you that one or not. Still happens all the time. I actively try not to do that because, well, it’s annoying. I love my pop, but that’s one annoying trait that I don’t want emulate. That being said, I go a little bit too far the other way with it, and start almost all of my stories or jokes with, “Did I already tell you about…”

I like to clarify that this is new ground we are breaking together and not something that you’ve already heard.

That brings us to my next point, I’m like 114 posts in to the blogging thing now, and certain things are bound to be repeated. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALLAH, TELL ME IF I’M REPEATING MYSELF. I don’t remember everything I’ve written. Help a bro bro out! Thanks.

So the reason I’m saying all of that, is because I really want to tell you the story from my haunted house night, and I’m just too lazy to look back and see if I already wrote about it. This is a video though, and I don’t remember recording a video so I think it’s going to be ok.

Short video about haunted house advertisements on the radio:


I just looked back and I did in fact make a video about it. WOW. Talk about a drinking problem.

Well, for those of you that didn’t make it until TEN MINUTES IN. Just click the video forward to 09:48 and watch it until you feel like you’ve gotten the gist of it.

Wow, I should have probably remembered that I did that bit on video already. But, it is what it is. Hopefully a few more of you saw it this time around. If you watched it a second time, I apologize. I owe you a cookie.

Here’s a cookie:


It’s a link to different ways to help you solve life’s simple, everyday problems with simple, everyday solutions. One more reason why THECHIVE rules!

I still want to make their Daily Afternoon Randomness post before the end of the year. Clearly I have to do something outrageous to get there. I’m very capable of doing that. I would like your ideas though. Check out this link and tell me what you think I can do to make it…

Example of the D.A.R. (Daily Afternoon Randomness) 

I have a feeling surrounding myself with half naked hot chicks while wearing their shirt would probably do it…but I’m open to everything else because I don’t know that many hot chicks that would be willing to pose for a national website’s front page, half-naked.

I welcome your ideas!
Also, I’m eating the other 6 bonesless wings from Bdubs I ordered yesterday, and going to bed. Yes it’s not healthy, but it can’t be more than 600 calories…so YAY not fatty today!

  1. Ashley says:

    I think you should seek out someone to make your meals daily. That way you can just grab you 2 meals out of the fridge on the morning and head to work…problem solved!! I would volunteer but the whole I live in Dallas, TX and you’re on LaPorte, IN might get in the way of that. Keep up all the good work & keep writing the blog, it’s very entertaining!!

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