December 11th

Posted: December 11, 2012 in bucket list, Comedy, Diet, exercise, Inspiration, Motivation, weight loss, Will Power

I don’t think I said a swear word today. If I did, I don’t remember it. That’s a marked improvement over my usual potty mouthed shenanigans. The point to the ‘no swearing’ resolution is to try to be more in control. If I make a stupid play on the basketball court, or a mistake at work, or forget to tip my hooker, I have 2 or 3 ‘go-to’ swears that I vomit out faster than a freshman on his first night of college.

Being able to stop myself from auto-swearing is to be able to regulate my emotions more adequately.


Also, I work in construction, so every other word is the F word, the MF word, the Z word, the Sh word, the B word…you get the picture.

Wondering what the Z word is? Guess you aren’t old enough to hear that one yet, go ask your mom.

As far as this caffeine thing goes, if someone would have told me that it only takes about 3-4 days of just quitting it cold turkey and I’d have MORE energy than I had when ingesting caffeine…I would not have listened to that person. That’s crazy talk.


my hooker


It totally is the truth you guys, like, OMG, for realsies.

ALSO today, I woke up destroyed. Just aching from every muscle fiber in my legs.

I wish I could have done this all day:


They still hurt terribly, I’m glad I’m lifting upper body tonight at the gym. I’m not going to be stupid and over-do it though.

I’m literally doing one set of like five exercises and then going to walk on the treadmill for a little. Why the treadmill, Ben? Surely you don’t want to overdo your cardio, what with waking up at 5am and doing your morning jog/crabwalk.

I overslept today. BIG time. My body was not having any of this “working out a lot” nonsense. I was even late to work by about 10 minutes. I’m running out of alarms to set. I know it just takes a few more days to really get used to murdering my body physically. I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again. No big deal.

I miss Bacon. I think that instead of going crazy on Jan 5th, I’ll just go to a breakfast restaurant and order all the bacon and eggs that they have.


I’ll Ron Swanson it up, if you will.


The RAOK needsDEMANDS it’s own Graphic. Let’s see what we can come up with in 2 minutes:

Ok it took 5:


I’m probably going to have to start teaching a photoshop class.

So anyway, RAOK!

I donated 10 dollars to Zoe.    Who’s Zoe?     Click here and read her story.

Remember that movie, Unbreakable with John McClane and the guy from Snakes on a Plane? You don’t? Well it was a movie about a guy with superstrength and a guy with brittle bones. The dude with brittle bones became a supervillian. I donated because clearly I don’t want Zoe to become a supervillian.

I don’t have kids (that I know of, wink-wink), but if I had a child, I would do everything I could do help her. So think about tossing some scratch her way, won’t you? Or if not her, maybe someone else. Maybe you give up that daily coffee for the rest of the month and give that money to State Street Food Pantry:

They are doing good things over there for sure. I raised some money from the bucket list and donated 100 bucks to help their cause.

Something else I completely forgot to mention was that after the party we had some money left over and I added a little to it so I could give 318 big dollars to the person that turned in the Jimmy John’s robber! How great is that!?

They way I see it, I’m saving tons of money by not going out to eat or drinking anything but water, so I’ve got a few bucks here and there to share with those that need it. I know you want to see the RAOK graphic again, but are probably too lazy to scroll up. You’re WELCOME:


Alright, I’m posting this now so I can hit the gym and then juggle or something for a little bit before I become the mayor of Snoozetown, USA.

I’m missing out on social interaction, so comment on the blog why don’tcha? Or at least tell someone about it!

  • I will keep a blog of my activities everyday. Success
  • I will go for a jog of at least one mile, every morning. missed 2
  • I will drink only water. Success
  • I will only eat things that myself or my friends/family have prepared. Success
  • I will not eat BACON. Success
  • I will exercise twice a day BESIDES THE JOG (30 minutes at least) Success
  • I will not ingest caffeine. Success
  • I will abstain from sex/self-love/prostitutes/your mom Success
  • I will perform one random act of kindness every day. Success
  • I will wake up at 5am everyday. missed 2
  • I will not watch any form of television/film (tv/movies/netflix) The only exception being one viewing of “A Christmas Story” while I stay the night at my parents’ house, and one movie in the theatre on Christmas with my family because that’s tradition and screw you this is my thing. Successfullish – SNL has been added as a nice reward for being awesome
  • I will not log into Facebook after Dec 4th. Success
  • I will complete one project around the house per week. 2/4
  • I will give thanks for something in my life every morning and record it on the blog every night. Success
  • I will read one book every week. Book one: Minority Report
  • I will not bite my fingernails. I’ve caught myself a few times, but definitely Success 
  • I will not use my cell phone after Dec. 4th. Success
  • I will not visit any websites other than wordpress, email,,  and google images to give me funny pictures for my blog. (Also Travel websites are allowed for #22) Success
  • I will do whatever I need to do to squat 250 pounds. Success
  • I will spend the necessary time playing the trumpet to learn one entire song. Pending
  • I will spend the necessary time juggling 4 bean bags to learn to juggle four bean bags. Pending
  • I will finalize my plans to go to Florida in 2013. Pending
  • I won’t say a swear word, not one. Day 1: approx 12, Day 2: approx 5, Day 3: approx 2, Day 4: approx 2, Day 5: approx 6, Day 6: 2 exactly Day 7: approx 4, Day 8: I think zero…
  1. rinnieeats says:

    Which SNL did you watch? We just watched the Jamie Foxx episode and it was FANTASTIC!!
    also, thanks for the tears!

    • I too watched the Jamie Foxx one, it was very well done. The Ding Dong thing on Weekend Update was great, and I cannot wait CANNOT WAIT to see Mr. Foxx’s new movie on Christmas Day with the fam!

  2. mommyest09 says:

    Since you posted early, Vaughn walked up while I was reading today’s post. You should know he appreciated your ROAK graphic. Specifically he said, “Look a goat (he’s only 3 give him a break), look a baby. I like him.” He also did his goofy/awful laugh he gets from his father.

  3. Dianne Carpenter says:

    Thanks for the RAOK reminder… I was going to do 12 of them on 12.12.12…. better get to bed so I can get up and get going…

    • I love it! Let me know what you do!

      • diannec1945 says:

        1) gave $ to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital in honor of my buddy, Lucas Moore… local LP kid probably 14 or 15 who has had an inoperable non-malignant brain tumor since he was three. Has caused all sorts of problems – but he is a Warrior! and is fine now… deals with each complication as they come.
        2) gave $ to a client in the office at WIC
        3) asked the director of State Street Food Pantry what he needed today and went and got 20 dozen eggs
        4) gave $ to John at B&J’s American Cafe to use to pay for someone’s lunch
        5) gave $ at CVS pharmacy – same thing
        6) thought of something my husband would like: keeping the last cup of coffee for him and hot on my hot plate. He was thrilled!
        7) baked a batch of fruit cakes and will give some to Soup Kitchen (at State Street) next Monday.
        8) made two batches of peanut brittle and will do the same as # 7
        To be honest, I wore out! I thought I was going to see people to pray with/for, but I didn’t. So, only got to 8 of the 12. Will spend some time tonight writing notes to people who normally don’t hear from me.

      • That is FANTASTIC!!!!!! Way to go! Wow, that’s sooooo many great things!

  4. Sara says:

    Keep up the good work. It’s motivating and comical!

  5. diannec1945 says:

    Good News: the Zoe portion of the fundraising is closed and there is so much traffic on the website for the group raising money, that I couldn’t get on. I will give to St. Jude’s!

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