December 22nd

Posted: December 22, 2012 in bucket list, Comedy, Diet, exercise, Inspiration, Motivation, weight loss, Will Power

So today was probably the laziest day I’ve had all month. It was absolutely great. I took the day off from lifting/running/worrying about Nike Fuel points. I went and saw Jack Reacher. I hung out with my best friend for a bit. I completed my pink elephant Christmas gift. I went shopping for the last bit of Christmas presents for the fam. I started planning the Florida trip. I did a RAOK. I read the rest of my 3rd book of the month. I watched a bunch of porn. I saved someone’s life. I ran a marathon. I invented light.

Ok some of those things aren’t true. The majority of that paragraph IS true though. I really enjoyed Jack Reacher. I thought it was really well done, and even though there were some cheesy lines in it (especially where you maybe would think they wouldn’t throw in some cheesy lines). I haven’t NOT gotten popcorn or candy or a hotdog at the theater in a long long long time.


I snuck in some beef jerky (210 calories for the whole bag!) and I ate it 1/4 way through the movie with my water.

I can’t tell you how proud I am of this last week. I bet it’s like watching your first son being born. Probably better. Let’s face facts, your kid ain’t that great.

I kid. I kid.

Sitting in the theater today with my buddy Brad, I can honestly say I was super duper jealous of him. Here’s why:

If you don’t know anything about me, you wouldn’t know that I love Arnold Schwarzenegger as a movie star. I don’t say “as an actor”. He’s not much of an actor… Jesus Christ, he’s barely an actor at all. What he is…is a bad mamma jamma MOVIE STAR!

Predator. Commando. True Lies. Terminator one and two. Jingle All the Way. The list goes on and on. Here’s a quick story about him that I promise you don’t know…

Back when Arnie was filming my favorite movie of all time ‘Predator’, there were a lot of big dudes on the set. Jesse “the body” Ventura, Arnold, Carl Weathers…they were all there, being ripped and whatnot. So Arnold bets Jesse that he has bigger biceps than Jesse. Jesse, who had just gone to the costume designer and talked to her about measurements, and knew his biceps were bigger, took the bet. Unfortunately for him, Arnold had visited the costume designer earlier, and told her to tell Jesse that his measurements were bigger than Arnold’s, even though they were not. They bet champagne. Jesse lost.

Works cited:

Holy crap. I just tried to find something online that backs up that story. I can’t find anything through Google. I’m not really allowed to go outside of my overlord, Google. So you’ll just have to trust me that I know what the heck I’m talking about as a true Predator fan.

OR….did I just make that up because I love that movie and that man so much that I’m willing to make things up? You decide.

ANYWAY. The whole point of this is that BRAD MET ARNOLD. He interviewed him. It was a big deal. I hate him.

I can’t believe that link isn’t to that specific interview. I’m so sorry (no I’m not)

Also, guess what? Friday and Saturday are the lowest viewed days of my blog. It’s true. For whatever reason, you people have more to do on the weekend than on the weekday. SURPRISE!

So for you people that actually come visit my little corner of the web on Friday and Saturday, I say thank you. You deserve something that I’ll never repeat again.

Something I’ll never repeat again:

Ever since I was able to remember things and peeing standing up, I’ve done this. It continues now. When I pee. I pronate my feet.

I don’t even know if pronate is the right word. I really think that it is not.

I basically stand on the outer edge of the left side of my left foot and the outer edge of my right side of my right foot when I pee. I’ve always done it. I’ve never taken one pee standing up that was flat footed. EVER.

Why am I sharing this with you?

Because you are visiting me on a Saturday night. That’s nice of you, also:

I’m bored.

Everything I’ve tried to accomplish this month, I have. I’ve abstained from everything. I’ve worked out like a douchebag. A REALLY BIG DOUCHEBAG…


I’ve been a perfect douche.

Ok ok, I’m done. Have a great night…we’ll talk soon!

  1. Sarah says:

    You supinate or invert your feet. Close but no cigar. 🙂

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