January 17th

Posted: January 17, 2013 in bucket list, Comedy, Diet, exercise, Inspiration, Motivation, weight loss, Will Power

It’s been about twenty days since I’ve posted anything. That’s a nice little sabbatical. I’m writing tonight because I know what the next subject I’d like to tackle is going to be. I’ve spent months where I gave up 20 or more things, to varying levels of success. This time it’s going to be the one thing that is constantly lacking. Losing weight/getting healthier. Every time I did a month here and there of willpower challenges, I definitely dropped weight or got healthier. That was on top of all the other crap I was trying to do. Then the challenge ends, I attempt moderation for 2 days, and then I just go back to being unhealthy. I think I’ve done that for about a decade. Yo-yo weight loss? Oprah style?

The really crappy thing is that I read/have read about nutrition and healthy eating and weight lifting and working out and being healthy and metabolism and calories and allllllll of that for quite a while, and I know exactly what I should and should not be doing to gain or lose pounds or not look like Chris Farley.

Chris-Farley

Screen Shot 2013-01-17 at 7.07.01 PM

Well maybe it’s not THAT bad, but it’s not good.

ANYWAY. The point of tonight’s post is completely self serving.  It’s to wrap my brain around the whole idea of not doing a 30 day challenge, or a 100 day challenge, or anything like that. It’s an indefinite challenge.  I’m going to get on it in February after I get back from Florida, yes, I followed through and booked that trip.

I do know that I’m really built like an all or nothing fool. I either get after something with 100% (just go drinking with me one night, and you’ll be sorry understand), or I don’t do it at all. So I do realize that I will be sort of willpowering it, because I absolutely know I’ll have to quit boozing for a while. I probably need to stop shooting up Twinkie filling between my toes, too. One day at a time, Ben, one day at a time. For real though, giving the booze a break from me for a while will be great for my wallet as well, my tolerance is a little high right now, and getting slightly tipsy takes more dollars that it should.

I don’t know the specifics of what I’m going to be doing yet, but I do know that it’ll be about 80% diet and 20% exercise. I know the Nike Fuel band will be involved. I’m not sure if I’m going to count calories, but I do think I’m going to step on the scale everyday and record that number.

I don’t even know the overall goal here. I know it’s to get in better shape than I am in currently, and I’m content with that general answer for now.

So instead of throwing an enormous goal out there without really planning for it, I’m going to realllllly plan this one out. Like, in advance and everything. I guess if this was a movie, this post would be the teaser trailer?

Oh yeah, and I’m running the tough mudder thing in May with my friends who are all in 3241% better shape than me. SCIENCE. I would like to not die while doing that. It’s basically 13 miles of muddy obstacles and other fun b.s.

I’ll be back in February to step on a scale and see how fat I’ve gotten. I haven’t been on one in a while but I stopped caring about being healthy December 30th when I was like 250. So my guess is somewhere around 270….WHERE’S MY INSULIN!

Thank god I carry it well and still look so god damn handsome.

Girl one:”Oh my God Jessica, I have the man for YOU”

Girl two:”Really?? Who is it??”

Girl one:”Well….his name is Ben, and he’s overweight and has extremely long hair, but don’t worry, he can outdrink pretty much anybody”

Girl two:”SIGN ME UP”

Comments
  1. Luke Starkey says:

    How about a half marathon in late May with Stafford and me? In Sou Bend, finish on Notre Dame’s field. I even heard Te’o will be there with his new girlfriend…if she’s still around of course. If you train and lift for the Tough Mudder, the weight will melt off. If you need a training plan let me know!

  2. mommyest09 says:

    Best of luck! Thanks for the ending. You started out so serious I wasn’t sure you actually wrote this post, but then we met Jessica and her friend.

    On Thu, Jan 17, 2013 at 7:40 PM, willpowerthru

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