February 23-24th

Posted: February 24, 2013 in Comedy, Diet, exercise, Inspiration, Motivation, weight loss, Will Power

First things first, some housekeeping. I’m going to be posting as much as possible because when I post, I stick to what I’m trying to achieve. Call it accountability, ego, pride, sexy, whatever you like. As always, the whole point of this is 99% selfish. I’m trying to better myself. If you decide that you want to be inspired by what I’m up to and maybe you want to start blogging about it too, I will sue you. Juuuust kidding, I will promote your blog or your cause any way you would like, just let me know about it. I average like 100-200 views a day which isn’t huge, but it’s still getting your accomplishments out there, so don’t be shy! Also, comment your little heart out, I really enjoy the feedback I get from people. Lastly, share this with other people you think might get a chuckle out of watching fatty struggle.

P.S. if you are brand new to reading my shenanigans, my favorite post I’ve ever written is right here:

 https://willpowerthru.com/2012/08/04/august-4th/ – It sums up everything about me trying to be athletic.

Ok, now back to bidniss:

Being social and abstaining from unhealthy food isn’t impossible.

bigbootygirl!

BUT.

It could get pretty awkward. We’ll get to how in a second.

First:

Last night I went over to my friends’ house to play a game. They had pizza, snacky treats, and Bacon wrapped sausage thingys.  I brought beer. Now what I should/could have done if I was trying to be 100% abstinent from unhealthy food was eaten something healthy before I got over there, not eaten anything, and drank water. I think it would have still been a very fun time, mainly because my friends are hilarious. Instead….I did not abstain from unhealthy food. So there you have it. Day one, I went failboating. Here’s the saving grace in my mind: I had 4 or 5 little squares of pizza, like 6 of the Bacon wrapped sausage thingys, and two of the snacky treats. Normally, it would have been at least 10 squares of pizza, at LEAST 20 of the Bacon wrapped sausage thingys, and infinite snacky treats. Plus, nothing was awkward. It was a win all the way around.

winbaby

Here’s how abstaining 100% from unhealthy food could get awkward. A good friend and his wife were in town this weekend and asked me to go to Mucho Mas Fresh Mexican Grill for lunch today. If I’m abstaining, I decline their offer, or go and watch them eat, or go and get something really healthy that I don’t enjoy. All of those things would be awkward. Instead I got a burrito and used this new thing that is really, REALLY useful when you are trying not to be a fat piece of crap. I don’t know if they have them everywhere or just Mucho Mas Fresh Mexican Grill, but I promise I’ll look into it for you if you want. It’s called a togo box. I think it’s pronounced towgo? teego? Whatever, it’s this box in which you put the food that you didn’t eat. But it gets better! You THEN take the box with you and you can eat the “left-over” food later. It’s brilliant. What will they think of next, you know? So I currently have half of a burrito in my refrigerator.

For realsies though, I do not remember the last time I took any food to go that didn’t get eaten ON the way home.

Sad Trombone

Let’s jump back to last night.

The game we played is called Cards Against Humanity. It’s a very raunchy version of Apples to Apples.

http://cardsagainsthumanity.com

It was insanely fun, and I highly recommend it.

Not as insanely fun, is back pain. Which I currently have. I talked about that the other day when I couldn’t keep playing basketball because my lower back was screwing with me something fierce. As a frequent visitor to TheChive.com, I enjoy their decently regular posting of “FLBP”. That would be “Future Lower Back Problems”. It’s pictures of scantily clad women with large boobs. While my boobs are not large, my stomach is not small. Lose the gut, lose the back problems. Ladies, please continue to suffer through the pain, for the good of humanity. Thank you.

While I enjoy visiting The Chive pretty much daily for their awesomely funny and sexy lady posts that just waste time, sometimes I read things that actually could help me achieve my goal of not being Chris Farley’s doppelgänger. Men’s Health is one such magazine. It’s a hold over from when I was actually in shape. I do enjoy their articles and tips and such. One of their features is called The Belly-Off Club. It’s a before and after recap of how some guy stopped being a Ben.

I’ve read tons of these stories. They are all exactly the same.

The downfall: “Well after college I started working in sales and stopped working out, I ate a lot of unhealthy fast food/pizza/my wife’s home cooking”.

The realization: “I realized I couldn’t play with my daughter/dog/adopted iguana without losing my breath in 13 seconds”.

The change: “I replaced the bad food with salads/chicken/rice/meal replacement shakes, and I started walking/riding a bike/exercising 10 minutes a day”.

The payoff: “Now it’s been a year and I don’t get tired playing with my kids, I’m down 78 pounds, and my sex life has never been better”.

The point being, it all sounds so simple when you read a before and after like that.

ba

What they don’t ever talk about is how many friends they lost due to the healthy change: “Well I had to quit the dart league because we would always get wings and beer, and I stopped going to my buddies house for football because we would always get wings and beer, and I stopped blah blah blahing because we always get wings and beer.” Also I’ve never read how their wives started resenting them because they were now in shape and “Who is Rhonda at your work and why does she “LIKE” all of your damn profile pictures!, I WANT A DIVORCE” *uncontrollable sobbing* – Sure, you can keep up playing with your kids…EVERY OTHER WEEKEND during visitation.

I realize that is pretty extreme, and you can play darts and watch football without wings and beer, and maybe Rhonda is just a friend, and your wife is cool with a three way.

The takeaway here is that it’s easy to see that stuff on a before and after page, and much harder to wake up every single day, make those positive changes at every turn, all while still enjoying the things you enjoyed before. Here’s to baby steps.

I’m going to go now, I have laundry to do and I’m watching the Oscars tonight.

Here are my picks for a few bigger categories:

Best Picture: Argo

Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis

Best Actress: Jennifer Lawrence

Best Director: Steven Spielberg

Best use of the ‘N’ word: Wreck-It Ralph (kind of surprising, right?)

Have a great Sunday everyone!

Comments
  1. rmpanos says:

    Yo, the sun don’t shine forever, but as long as it’s here we might as well shine together! Hey jack, it ain’t failboating if you haven’t totally given up on the prize at the end of the road!!!! When your back is in better shape hit me up, I am thinking about getting a Y membership in order to partake in the Noon Hoops and use their weight room and such. But that will be in the future since I am currently tackling sobriety and on Friday March 1st I will be yet again tackling the biggest vice I have and it’s not Miami brochacho, it’s dem der pesky smokes!!!! Keep on keepin’ on Benihana, you can do it!!!!!!

  2. andrew says:

    Start with portion control. If you can control how much goes in that is the biggest part. At least I think so and that is what matters. Starting March 1st I will be started to lose weight as well. Shooting for 40lb lost by mid June (vacation). Challenge accepted?

  3. mommyest09 says:

    So, I’ve been dieting and working out since mid January. I’m down 15.5 pounds. You can take some credit. I think your blog inspired me to stop putting it off. Sooooooo thanks!

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