March 9th

Posted: March 9, 2013 in Comedy, Diet, exercise, Gout, Inspiration, Motivation, weight loss, Will Power
Tags: ,

Today I actually felt good enough around dinner time to go over to my buddy Nick’s house to watch some basketball. My friend John was there. He told me to stop whining so much about my problems because he comes to my blog to laugh, and not to read about how sorry he should feel for me. I responded with, “Ohhh I’m sooo sorry that I’ve created a blog about MYSELF where the topic is usually ME and you are mad because you went to it and I was talking about myself.”

Definitely a “you had to be there” moment, but it was funny to me. Once again, MY blog, so that story gets posted. Deal with it.

They drank beer and ate pizza and I had a Powerade, which is totally the same level of enjoyment.

My ankle still f*cking hurts. I’m still limping, and it still blows donkey balls.

Over the past few days I’ve spent more time on the internet than one person should be allowed. I’ve read so many articles about so many stupid things, and watched so much asian porn Netflix it’s just ridiculous. I’ve also been on Facebook waaaaay too much.

Here’s what I’ve been seeing a lot lately on the Facebook: Wine and canvas nights. Evidently you and your girlfriends get together, drink a bunch of wine, presumably talk shit about Julie who couldn’t find a sitter, and then you all paint the same picture with some artist person giving you advice on how to do it. Everyone’s picture is the same picture, but they all look a little different because it’s your version of that picture. The crazy thing is that I’ve seen like 7 or 8 postings about this and EVERYONE’S picture looks awesome.

Here’s an example:

Screen Shot 2013-03-09 at 10.48.08 PM





















That looks great. If I tried to draw that while drinking, it would just be green paint thrown on the first person who tried to take my drink away because “I’ve had too much” and I’m “causing a scene” and “where are your pants?”. Fascists.

What else is new?

I’ve lost 10 pounds in like 5 days just by being bedridden and super ill. I’m going to try to find a way to write what I did into a pamphlet and sell it to teenage girls a week before prom.

Ok I’m tired. Have a great night, my hope is that when I wake up tomorrow the pain in my ankle will FINALLY be gone.


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