Well it’s official, I’m the greatest man that’s ever lived.

bare feet on a scale

Yes, that’s a smurfskin rug.

I’m not sure if you saw last night’s picture…but yeah, it said 276.0

So yeah, ummm I lost .4 pounds in a day. Suck on THAT, world.

Yes, I realize that .4 pounds is basically the difference between either a big pee or a small poo, but at least it doesn’t say MORE than 276.00. I’m sure it’ll happen where I weigh more than I did the day before. But today is not that day!

That’s my win for the day. Here are my losses, in order of severity.

1. My ankle was still not great today. It still feels like a big sprain. I twisted that same ankle on a muddy job site today whilst doing an estimate. I actually made a girlish ‘yelp’ type sound. There would be much resting and not any swimming today. 😦

2. I had plans to go to a movie tonight with my bro bro Bradford, and I was planning on being decently early for that 7:40 flick by leaving my house at 7:10 to get a little gasoline to huff for my truck. I glanced at the clock on my stove, and I had plenty of time. So I made a healthy dinner:

Screen Shot 2013-03-11 at 11.03.34 PM

But then a funny thing happened. It wasn’t 6:15, it was 7:15. Maybe I’m not all great at updating the clocks in my house, yo! Get off my case, GAWD! So I had to kinda rush out the door and get to the theatre on time rather than early, which isn’t terrible, but that meant less pre-movie snuggle time with Bradford. Wow, that’s really gay. I need a prostitDATE, A FEMALE DATE. Whew, saved it.

3. I had to ask today if South Bend is still an hour ahead of LaPorte, or if were were on the same time now that the time changed. I’m a 31 year old man with a mortgage and a dog, yet a stranger in the restroom of the cineplex had to answer that for me. Don’t ask.

4. I put it together that SXSW and South By Southwest are the same thing and I feel very stupid for not putting that together earlier. I had talked to some people about South By South West going on down in Austin right now and how it was this huge festival for tech and music. I had also recently read that at SXSW there were some big tech and music surprises this week.

My brain was making about as much sense as…


Quick timeout. Did you see the best sketch SNL has done in quite a while? Well here you go:


BEST SKETCH IN A LONG TIME. P.S. sorry ladies, I’m in love with Cecily Strong (The blond in the video).

Well there you have it. My ankle still hurts, I lost .4 pounds, I saw Dead Man Down (I have a man boner for Colin Farrell), I ate healthy all day, and now it’s bedtime.

This is only going to get easier as time goes on, but today was a good first day.

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