Ankle still feels like I sprained it pretty badly, but it is DEFINITELY getting better.
I’m going to get the diet stuff out of the way because I’ve totally got something better to talk to you guys about tonight.
So here was dinner:
It was eggs and cheese and ham and cottage cheese and toast and jelly
and here’s the scale:
276-274 = 2 pounds in two days. That is almost as insignificant as any of the Kardashians’ talents, so I’m not celebrating quite yet. Still, two days is a mini-streak, keep hope alive for day three!
Now onto the pressing matters of the evening.
My friend and I went over to check out the comedy club over in South Bend (for those of you who were invited last week and that we cancelled due to weather I’M SORRY, this trip was more last minute).
So we went over there to check it out and see what was going on, not looking to perform, just looking to watch the show. There were probably 20-25 people in the room and the first guy gets up, first timer, and tries his stuff. It’s not polished at all of course, he’s just one of those guys that the other guys at work said, “Dude, you have GOT to get out there and try stand up, you’re soooo funny.” Much like the reason I’m sitting there watching this kid…stupid peer pressure.
So directly after he gets off stage, Brad and I look at each other and go, “Shit, let’s DO THIS.” Well, my look might have been of crippling fear but I still wanted to try.
So we sign up.
Ok maybe it was more like this…
Whatever, the point is, now our names are on the list and we’re going to get up in front of other people and try to make them chuckle. The saving grace was that this was open mic night. Some horrible people just wasting your time with shit that has no plot, no direction, isn’t funny, and is boring as hell. Also, some good comics trying out new stuff, working through stuff, not killing it at all, just getting a few laughs here and there. I’d like to think that that’s exactly what Brad and I fit in…got a few laughs here and there, and people enjoyed what we did up on stage. I will tell you right now, I was f*cking nervous. I absolutely want to do it again. I want to get to the point where I feel comfortable up there, and THEN if I suck…I’ll quit.
So if you want to see what uncomfortable joke telling looks like…here you go:
Oh yeah, the only context I think you need is that before the open mic, the guy emceeing was like, “just take the mic stand and put it behind you, don’t leave it out front, it just looks weird…also, don’t look into the eyes of the audience if you are new, it’ll throw you off…just look over them instead.”
annnnnnd now here you go:
So there you have it…what did you think?
willpowerthru 
I enjoyed it thoroughly. You almost seem to know how you want your delivery to go, and that’s good. It was pretty darn good for your first time man. The more you do it, the better you will feel about it. To be honest I have been playing gigs for the last 15 years, and I still get nervous every single time I play, so it’s just one of those things. But darn good job man. I laughed a lot, and you got some good laughs too. High five, Benihana!!!
Thanks Mr. Panos! Comedy/Music jam sometime in our sober futures!
I think you could have segued between your jokes better. All of them had something to do with relationships, (gf, drunk texting, facebook, words w/ “friends”), so having a through-line of talking about relationships might help you be more comfortable and conversational (though, not necessarily less nervous). And don’t be afraid to give an example of what you’re talking about (drunk texting ruins relationships, like this one time… and I was like, “It’s not even English! Why are we arguing about jibberish?” or “Now see, what I thought was a romantic, cutesy, love text she saw as irresponsibility, unreliability, disloyalty, and who the fuck were you with, are you cheating on me, was it that bitch that waived to you in the parking lot that you claimed not to know.”) Just spit-balling here. The dog poop eating friend is kind of an example. Big ups for being ballsy, definitely.
Thanks for the comments, I was talking about that with my buddy that went with me, and we were talking about a few of those things, clearly I don’t have any transitions set up, just jokes at this point. There is absolute zero flow, because I didn’t write anything down or practice at all. I just had the idea of what I was going to say and kinda how it was supposed to go. The main goal for last night was to grow a pair and get out there to see if I could get a giggle. I’m definitely going to flesh out those jokes a little more and build on them…it’s gonna be great!*
*it may or may not be great
Ben, you are one of the top 3 funniest people I have ever known. I’m so excited you’ve started doing standup because I know once you’re in your groove you are going to be so successful! Good job on your first time! Ps- this is a drunk Facebook post.
I love the drunk facebook post. Thanks Genevieve!!!! I better be either #1 or #2…I will not accept the bronze medal of comedy in your life. Thank you. 😛
Very good for your first time…WAY TO GO!
Thanks! I was sooooooooooooooooo nervous!
You know for it being your first time and you actually having the balls to get up there and do it, it was pretty good. I’ve been to The Drop and it seems to be a good place to start. Good job, keep it up!
Thanks man, I think it was 87% balls and 12 % comedy and 1% I can’t do math
Very good. Please keep at it. Other than being nervous, did you have fun? I give you credit, I could never get up there.
First of all, thanks! I think you probably have some Jonah stand up you could do! 😛
Here’s what I posted on Facebook about it:
I loved it, I was just so damn nervous! I knew what I was going to talk about, but I definitely didn’t flesh out exactly how I was going to say those things, so I just got up there and said words. I think I did ok, the whole time I was up there I was trying to think about the next thing to talk about rather than what I was actually saying, and I think nerves had everything to do with that.
Heyyyy I’m not even one of your mom’s friends…how did I get so lucky.???? xo
Andrea it’s because you’re hot. Duh.
good job on the having a plan and sticking with it in regards to your weight loss stuff. Keep up the good work!
As far as the stand up thing goes: I think what will help your confidence most, is bringing that group that was supposed to go originally because they already think you’re funny and will laugh at everything. That should make you feel more at ease. You did a great job and got a really good response!
And I just realized YOU DID THAT WITHOUT ALCOHOL! I think that gives you INFINITELY more props!
That’s something that I didn’t mention! Thanks for bringing that up. I DID THAT SHIT SOBER.
NEVER AGAIN.
Just kidding. I’m really glad I did it without a cocktail in hand!
I raised a brave, brave man. Great job, Ben!
Thanks, mom!