March 13th

Posted: March 13, 2013 in Comedy, Diet, exercise, Gout, Inspiration, Motivation, vegan, weight loss, Will Power

If you haven’t noticed yet…I did stand up for the first time last night. From what people are telling me, I’m probably the greatest person to ever live, and my comedy cures HIV.

The video is on last night’s blog post, so feel free to chuckle your nuts off* over there.

*or the female equivalent of nuts…which is…umm…ovaries?


I thank you all for the kind words about my comedy stuffs, that was nice of you.

I stayed up until about 2am just still all amped up from getting on stage and trying it all out. A few people have asked me some questions that I will answer now:

1. Will you do it again?


2. How nervous were you?


3. What was the crowd like?

20-25 people and about 15 of them got up and did their own set of jokes before or after me, some good, some terrible.

4. When did you lose your virginity?

High School.

5. Did you have anything written down before you went up?

No I did not. I had ideas that I had recorded myself saying, and I had bounced the stuff off Brad a few times, but I really had no clue how to string anything together (clearly). The thing I was most proud of (besides being sober while actually doing those jokes, shit!) was inserting the stuff about having crackhead Facebook friends into the Words With Friends joke as a callback. I kind of just did it without even thinking about it. Thanks, brain.

That was fun Q&A, thanks for your questions. I’m a very famous comedian. I think the best part about my comedy is I’m so modest about it, you guys.


I’m exhausted tonight so I’m going to cut this one a bit short. Here’s the dinner shot…I actually did go out with my mom to Mucho Mas after work for a bite, I got two tofu tacos “veggie style” so I would like major props for that…

I would also like to point out that I believe that is the first time I’ve ever photographed any food in any restaurant, anywhere, at any point in my life. Ever. I felt like a douche-canoe. But it’s for the blog. The things I do for you people:


They were very good. I can’t say delicious, especially because they were loaded up with tons of veggies, but they were pretty damn good.

So here’s the other picture requirement:


276-272 = 4 pounds so far.


My ankle looks better but I’m STILL LIMPING. I feel like this is going to take a while to recover, so for now everything weight loss is just diet. I haven’t done one athletic thing since I’ve started so I can’t WAIT to get back into the gym now that I’m not stuffing my face with pizza every 45 seconds.

Tangent I: Thanks again for the nice words everyone. I cannot wait to try stand up again. I feel like that should have been on my bucket list. Holy shit. I remember now, I had a bucket list. I think it’s time to dust off a few of those bitches and make that stuff happen!

Tangent II: I saw Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World tonight. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it. It’s crazy good. I’m an assholeface for not seeing it sooner.

Tangent III: I’ve been in a better than normal mood lately, which is pretty significant because I’m always in a pretty good mood. I guess things are going pretty well right about now, how about you?  How are you Julie? How are the kids?




Hopefully that freaks out like 2 people.

Alright I’m going to dreamland. I’m going to attempt to dream about saving the world. I want that to involve like a James Bond style action sequence, followed by a James Bond style sex scene, but knowing my stupid brain…I’ll end up dreaming about handing out recycling flyers in outer space with an ex-girlfriend that is uglier than I remember.

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