September 4th

Posted: September 4, 2013 in Uncategorized

My favorite thing I saw online today:

I think the way the guy laughs seals it for me…just good stuff.

Update on my track-marked looking arm from donating blood yesterday:


My arm looks like I use drugs. Larry, as always, is passed out like he’s actually on drugs.

Today’s twitter joke:

Screen Shot 2013-09-04 at 8.54.20 PMSome of my friends thought that I was being serious about not knowing John Candy was dead. I’m a little offended at how dumb they think I am. Or maybe I’m offended at how dumb I now think they are for not getting an obvious joke? I don’t know, the jury is still out. In their defense I don’t always know if something is obvious or not…I did Google to check if it was ok to drink water out of water bottles that had been left in a car for a few months in the summer. I remembered hearing something about the hot plastic leaking cancerous gremlins into the water or something. Long story shorter…I’m stupid, of course it’s fine to drink that water, and John Candy is dead.


random act of kindness

Today’s Random Act Of Kindness is brought to you by the letter B….as in Ben brings you a letter.

I was driving down el road-o (total spanish speaker, you guys) and I saw a letter blowing down the road. I pulled over and found out that it looked like some sort of greeting card envelope and that the address wasn’t that far away so I tracked down the house and put it in the mailbox.

“Awww videos are fun, eh?” – Canadian Ben

Also, I was thinking that I could surprise someone everyday like “aww that’s a nice surprise” But I’m relying more on getting a reaction like:


you know, by scaring the SHIT out of somebody everyday.

So tomorrow I’m going to try to do the nice version…today I just went “HEY…nice bike” to some teenager on my way home from my buddy Brad’s house after watching sooooo much porn  The Roast of James Franco. I don’t feel bad because he was riding on the sidewalk. Don’t ride on the sidewalk, jerk. He

P.S. Sarah Silverman. wow. just wow.


She was absolutely hilarious, too…but you know…Jewbs.

That stands for Jewish Boobs, mom.


Did the walk through for the event at the Little Theatre coming up in a scant 17 days….The place is better than I remembered and it’s going to be flat out sweetness on the night.

ALSO, I Street Family Tavern is doing the following:

Providing local brewery Back Road’s beer at 5 bucks and Bud Light at 4 bucks, with all proceeds going back to the charity…AND we are going to have the after party down at the tavern 4 minute down the road from the theatre and they are keeping the kitchen open late with 15% of all proceeds from 10pm on going back to the charity as well!!

SO…if you are coming to the show and want to hang out with the comics afterwards, we’ll be at the I street tavern around 10:30 or so!

Back to today…

1. Blog about it daily. DONE!

2. 1600 Calories a day. DONE!

3. Only meals that have been cooked by someone not paid to cook. So like mom’s dinner yes, delivery pizza no. DONE!

4. Read 4 books. (I’m open to suggestions!) Done with Delivering Happiness…next up is my friend Erin’s recommendation: Let’s Pretend This Never Happened…then Teresa’s recommendation: The Art of Racing in the Rain.

5. Work out once a day for more than 30 minutes. (this is going to be lenient, like walking is acceptable) DONE!

Ever seen a fat-ish guy jog around a house? If you were in Union Mills today……bucket list item CHECKED OFF AND YOU ARE WELCOME

6. Tweet one joke a day (I will be posting this one to Twitter @kenbonowitz) DONE!

7. Drink only water. DONE!

8. 100% Abstinence (yes, that means no flogging the pope, or whatever awesome euphemism you use) DONE!

9. Do one RAOK a day! (this will probably be pretty lenient as well, but we’ll see) DONE!

10. Surprise someone everyday. (probably my favorite submission out of all of them) woah…NOT DONE.

11. Learn to juggle 4 things. YOU KNOW WHY – NOT DONE

12. Learn a song on the trumpet. YOU KNOW WHY AGAIN – NOT DONE

13. Spend zero dollars. DONE!

14. Look like fat Thor (DONE!)

15. No texting. I will be available to call or Skype or email. But I won’t be texting. (I AM however SNAPCHATTING BECAUSE IT IS AWESOME)

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