September 8th

Posted: September 8, 2013 in Uncategorized

Sometimes internet comments are really funny to me. Take this one for example. The article was about “This is the End” getting back into theaters to try to eclipse the 100 million dollar mark. If you don’t know what it is, here’s a photo recap:


And here are the internet comments about it:

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Couple things here.

See that last one? One word: jews

Someone sat down at their computer, read that article, and typed out the word “jews”, AND 25 PEOPLE EITHER PUBLICLY SUPPORTED IT OR DIDN’T

That’s hilarious to me.

Also funny is that GreenCrackman* (which is a parody of Gene Hackman?) wrote “Pull the stick out of your ass” but was kind enough to write A-S-* instead of A-S-S.


Oh! Also, yesterday I forgot to mention that I felt very uncool at the golf course.

Here’s what happened:

Well that turned into a vlog rather than a story, and that’s ok, I’m going to go read a book now that I have a little more time.

Also, my friend Michelle found out the comedy show was sold out but STILL sent this to me:


That my friends, is a bad ass. So thank you Michelle, you are an awesome person.

Guess who just jumped to the front of the wait list in case I have a couple of tickets at the last minute? If you guessed Kate Upton, you are correct.

But Michelle is right behind her in the #2 wait list spot.

Some of you might say, but Ben, you promised ME if you had two tickets available, you’d let me know! To which I say, you should have probably tried to make yourself look good by donating 20 bucks on the off chance that two became available.

Here’s the list:

1. Blog about it daily. DONE!

2. 1600 Calories a day. DONE!

3. Only meals that have been cooked by someone not paid to cook. So like mom’s dinner yes, delivery pizza no. DONE! (I had bacon wrapped shrimp at my parent’s house tonight and it was INCREDIBLE)

4. Read 4 books. (I’m open to suggestions!) Done with Delivering Happiness…next up is my friend Erin’s recommendation: Let’s Pretend This Never Happened…then Teresa’s recommendation: The Art of Racing in the Rain…then Emily’s recommendation: Warmth of Other Suns

5. Work out once a day for more than 30 minutes. (this is going to be lenient, like walking is acceptable) DONE!

6. Tweet one joke a day (I will be posting this one to Twitter @kenbonowitz) DONE!

Screen Shot 2013-09-08 at 8.36.22 PM Screen Shot 2013-09-08 at 8.36.13 PMScreen Shot 2013-09-08 at 8.36.22 PM Screen Shot 2013-09-08 at 8.36.41 PM

7. Drink only water. DONE!

8. 100% Abstinence (yes, that means no flogging the pope, or whatever awesome euphemism you use) DONE!

9. Do one RAOK a day! (this will probably be pretty lenient as well, but we’ll see) DONE!

Handed over the check for Cary’s improve class fee:


Get it??? Improve? Improv? WHICH ARE WE DOING!?

10. Surprise someone everyday. (probably my favorite submission out of all of them) DONE!

I surprised Brad on stage tonight. Long story short I told him to act like an idiot.

11. Learn to juggle 4 things. YOU KNOW WHY – NOT DONE

12. Learn a song on the trumpet. YOU KNOW WHY AGAIN – NOT DONE

13. Spend zero dollars. DONE!

14. Look like fat Thor (DONE!)

15. No texting. I will be available to call or Skype or email. But I won’t be texting. (I AM however SNAPCHATTING BECAUSE IT IS AWESOME)

I broke the no texting one today on purpose as my best friend’s kid is about to be born and he texted me at 6am and I didn’t want to call him when I saw that text at noon for fear that he would have his phone on him as his son was being born and a phone ringing while your baby is being birthed = not the best thing. So yes, I texted him back.

*GreenCrackman (i had to wait for the video to get done uploading):


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