September 18th

Posted: September 18, 2013 in Uncategorized

So that happened.

Also, if you ever do an event, just put the tickets online and make people buy them there. I’ve definitely had more than a few people beg me to hold onto their tickets and not sell them, promise me they’ll show up and pay for them and then not show up. So I’ve given up on that and have gone to the waitlist and sold their tickets.



I’m going to meet with my lawyer* and find out how I can get a tax-exempt status for the next show so I can just legit sell the tickets online. That’s been the biggest clusterf*** about this whole thing. Everything else has been fine. Especially I Street Tavern…they are not only donating the money they make on the alcohol back to the charity…but after the show the comedians and myself are going to head down to the Tavern and grab drinks and food and I Street is donating 15% of THAT money back to the charity as well. They are complete bad asses.

On top of today’s Twitter joke:

Screen Shot 2013-09-18 at 9.25.51 PM


I had some fun with my buddy Eric’s status update:

Screen Shot 2013-09-18 at 9.25.21 PM


See, you get it? Because that’s what Dane Cook would have acted like…get it?

What else is going on? oh yeah…THE LIST:


1. Blog about it daily. DONE!

2. 1600 Calories a day. DONE! Down about 21 pounds now.

3. Only meals that have been cooked by someone not paid to cook. So like mom’s dinner yes, delivery pizza no. DONE!

Tonight I cooked myself one BAD ass bacon cheeseburger 600 calories and it was very very very good.

4. Read 4 books. Done with Delivering Happiness…next up is my friend Erin’s recommendation: Let’s Pretend This Never Happened…then Teresa’s recommendation: The Art of Racing in the Rain…then Emily’s recommendation: Warmth of Other Suns

Let’s face it guys, with Millie’s energy level about here:



Finishing these books is just not happening. I used to get like 3 hours a night to try to eat dinner/read/workout/whatever.

With Millie it’s down to about 1/2 hour before bed and that’s just not enough time to finish these books. BUT, I’m still going to read them, it’s just not going to happen by Saturday!

5. Work out once a day for more than 30 minutes. (this is going to be lenient, like walking is acceptable) DONE!

Millie yet again with the playing in the yard, and speaking of the yard, I agreed to a quote today to have my back yard fenced in so that Millie eventually will have a doggie door she can go in and out of at the house and be just fine staying home while I’m at work! (no money down so I didn’t spend any money…technicalities are great)

6. Tweet one joke a day (I will be posting this one to Twitter @kenbonowitz) DONE!

7. Drink only water. DONE! I’m really looking forward to a milkshake or a beer or ANYTHING OTHER THAN WATER.

8. 100% Abstinence (yes, that means no flogging the pope, or whatever awesome euphemism you use) DONE!

9. Do one RAOK a day! (this will probably be pretty lenient as well, but we’ll see) DONE!

While at the grocery store today I overheard a woman asking a specific question at the deli. The deli people didn’t know the answer and in my head I’m thinking “how is no one pulling out their phone to Google this information?”. Normally I would not have interjected, but I looked it up on my phone and gave her the name of the cheese she was looking for, she seemed happy.

10. Surprise someone everyday. (probably my favorite submission out of all of them) DONE!

I surprised a few people on the wait list today with tickets to the show, which made me happy.

11. Learn to juggle 4 things….I’m SO CLOSE on this one!!!

12. Learn a song on the trumpet. YOU KNOW WHY AGAIN – NOT DONE

13. Spend zero dollars (ON MYSELF) DONE!

14. Look like fat Thor (DONE!)

15. No texting. I will be available to call or Skype or email. But I won’t be texting. (I AM however SNAPCHATTING BECAUSE IT IS AWESOME)

  1. Brady says:

    Hey – if you’re serious about needing a lawyer, I’m married to one, and he got this highest score in his class in tax law. (He doesn’t practice tax law, but your issue might be simple enough that he could deal with it.) I’m totally volunteering him w/out asking him, but who wouldn’t want to help Ken Bonowitz?

    • The funny part about this post is I put lawyer* and then forgot to put the other one saying ” *I don’t have a tax lawyer ” Ask him if that’s something he can give me advice on! That would be awesomeness! If not I do have a buddy locally that might be able to help me 🙂 Thank you very much!

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