Archive for October, 2013

October 31st (Day 15)

Posted: October 31, 2013 in Uncategorized

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So here’s a video…watch towards the end as I masterfully spin a hair tie in my hands as THIS IS MY LIFE NOW:

Update: Worthy Women Recovery Home will be getting the money. Thanks for the suggestion, Laura!

So here’s the rest of the things!

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The Nike Fuel band absolutely helps. It’s always a reminder that I should or could be doing something active instead of sitting around. So I take a little walk or play with Millie for a few minutes, all of that stuff builds up and then I hit my goal. I was debating not even going to the gym after I drove to South Bend and back after work, but I looked down and I was only at like 2,500 for the day, and the Nike Fuel band was saying…


So I did it.

What’s “it” though? Good question, thank you for asking, Kristen.

Hopefully there’s someone named Kristen reading this and I just


Sidenote: I know that if I’m going to lose a bunch of weight, I’m going to do it by my diet, not really by exercise, because I’m not sure if you guys know this but burning 1300 calories in a two hour cardio session where I almost die is slightly harder then NOT EATING LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT. Granted, I could do both, but who am I, Superman? NO, I’M CLEARLY NOT, BECAUSE I SLEPT FOR AN EXTRA HOUR TODAY.

If you didn’t watch my video up there, you don’t deserve to get that joke.

The bottom line is, what am I doing at the gym? I make it one mile on the treadmill, and then I go do two sets of 4 different weight lifting exercises. That’s it. The faster I get it done, the quicker I leave the gym. So as long as I’m using good form, I get the sets done as fast as possible because poppa’s got shit to DO!

Like I said, the point is to be engaging in physical activity as a bonus to my eating correctly.

Speaking of eating:

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Random Act of Kindness!

I gave a book to a friend that I thought they could use. I liked doing this and I think I’m going to do it again.

Comedy break:


1. Blog about it everyday: DONE

2. Wake up at 5 am on week days and 7am on weekends: DONE

3. Must physically step foot into the YMCA and workout every morning before work (P90X doesn’t count): F*** ME

4. Floss everyday (I just know I should do it more) DONE TWICE TODAY! WHAT WHAT!

5. Teach Millie to come to me. (she knows “sit”…and that’s all) DONE!

6. Do a Random Act Of Kindness (RAOK) everyday. DONE

7. Say “yes” to something once a week that I would normally have said “no” to. 2/7

8. 5 Videos for Charity 

9. Weigh 242 pounds or under at the end of the 50 days or donate 1,000 dollars to the KKK 

10. Eat one meal that has vegetables in it every week. Which means I will ingest 7 more vegetables than I would have normally. 1/7

The add ons:

11. Nothing to drink other than water (no booze, pop, beer, OJ, milk, Crystal Light…NADA) DONE

12.  Publish one new joke on Twitter every day. DONE

13. Only eat food that has been purchased at the grocery store and/or prepared by someone not paid to do so. DONE

14.  Keep an accurate calorie count of all food every day. DONE

15. No spending money on anything other than necessities (example…bills, groceries, clothes are ok) DONE

16. Full abstinence (because any willpower month that doesn’t include not touching your dick is just silly) DONE

17.  Wear the Nike Fuel band every day and hit 3,000 fuel points everyday DONE

18. Finally learn a damn song on the trumpet.