October 28th (Day 12)

Posted: October 28, 2013 in Uncategorized

Even though it’s day twelve, holy shit it feels like day one. No proofreading tonight. Suck it, grammar.

First…Check this out from the comedy club! How bad ass does is look? Very or totally?

The answer is very totally. This video is very totally badass.


Screen Shot 2013-10-28 at 10.05.12 PM


Leaving the gym at 6:30ish:

Screen Shot 2013-10-28 at 10.05.03 PM


So that’s a win.

Because I went into the office on Sunday for about 3 hours, I was able to get about 50% of my weekly paperwork done. So that means I actually was able to make my triumphant return to Noon Hoops today.

Noon Hoops is a weird place. It’s a place where you might walk in and say, “That group of people should probably not be playing basketball together because it’s a mix of guys that are super in-shape and guys that look pretty damn old and feeble…and also Ben”

It’s a short court though, so it’s good exercise.

Screen Shot 2013-10-28 at 10.01.15 PM


Hit my 3,000 today even though I had to leave the Nike Fuel band at home when I went to the gym this morning because it needed to charge.




After work I took a nap. It was glorious.

I napped so that I could take in a cinematic adventure with my buddy Bradford. I had a free movie gift certificate, so I didn’t pay for anything, don’t worry.

I sat down to watch Bad Grandpa. 20 minutes into it I just couldn’t do it.

My brain kept kicking me. “WHY ARE YOU WASTING YOUR TIME WITH THIS?”

So, I left. I haven’t walked out of a movie in…well…maybe ever? It’s not because I didn’t like it, I just realized I didn’t like it enough to spend my time doing that particular thing when I’ve got such limited time these days.

RAOK! Weak sauce today, but I’m counting it.

I still had my friend Erin’s crockpot from my Halloween party, so I washed it and dropped it off at their house on the way to the movie.

I’m totally that guy that flosses at red lights, you guys.



Is it so much to get him to say this next time, I’m going for it.

Also, I totally forgot! My friend Melissa told me that cucumbers are fruits, not vegetables, so I really hadn’t eaten a veggie the first week.

I was confused, because as I explained to Melissa, cucumbers taste like I hate them, therefore are vegetables. Not true.

Cucumber not vegetable


What other lies are you telling people, cucumber. IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME.

What’s that? Your real name is Cucumis sativus?



That got weird.

Speaking of weird! My friend Deanna did THIS:




Totally gave me a fear boner. She made it to the front page of Reddit doing it though, so good for her!


Screen Shot 2013-10-28 at 10.42.26 PM


Tracking all my food today was pretty easy. Smart phone and My Fitness Pal make it simple:

Screen Shot 2013-10-28 at 10.44.17 PM


However, it looks like I’m going to die from eating so much salt.

Here’s the detailed breakdown. I ate the exact same thing for lunch and dinner, that’s why it’s doubled up on there. I’m a creature of habit, I guess.

Screen Shot 2013-10-28 at 10.45.43 PM



So that was a great first (12th) day.

Here’s this, it made me laugh, goodnight!


1. Blog about it everyday: DONE

2. Wake up at 5 am on week days and 7am on weekends: DONE

3. Must physically step foot into the YMCA and workout every morning before work (P90X doesn’t count): DONE

4. Floss everyday (I just know I should do it more) DONE

5. Teach Millie to come to me. (she knows “sit”…and that’s all) DONE!

6. Do a Random Act Of Kindness (RAOK) everyday. DONE

7. Say “yes” to something once a week that I would normally have said “no” to. 2/7

8. 5 Videos for Charity 

9. Weigh 242 pounds or under at the end of the 50 days or donate 1,000 dollars to the KKK 

10. Eat one meal that has vegetables in it every week. Which means I will ingest 7 more vegetables than I would have normally. 1/7

The add ons:

11. Nothing to drink other than water (no booze, pop, beer, OJ, milk, Crystal Light…NADA) DONE

12.  Publish one new joke on Twitter every day. DONE

13. Only eat food that has been purchased at the grocery store and/or prepared by someone not paid to do so. DONE

14.  Keep an accurate calorie count of all food every day. DONE

15. No spending money on anything other than necessities (example…bills, groceries, clothes are ok) DONE

16. Full abstinence (because any willpower month that doesn’t include not touching your dick is just silly) DONE

17.  Wear the Nike Fuel band every day and hit 3,000 fuel points everyday DONE

18. Finally learn a damn song on the trumpet.


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