I don’t remember hitting my alarm this morning, but there you have it. I was almost late to work. Woke up at 7:46.


panic beaker

Luckily everything was fine once I got to work. Got the day started and then rearranged my day to stay a little later so I could actually go to the gym and swim.

I even remembered to grab a banana on the way out the door.


I’ve also started carrying a gallon of water with me and an old travel mug, pouring liberally throughout the day so I can make sure to flood my organs with the good stuff.

If you didn’t know I have a wonderful little condition called Gout…referred to as The Gout and made famous by Chris Farley and Adam Sandler.



More water equals less gout pain when losing weight, so I’m drinking as much as I can. I’m a believer that when your cells push fat out for your body to get rid of, uric acid (that causes gout) is filtered through your kidneys at a higher rate than normal and so more water kind of dilutes the amount of acid.

THIS IS NOT SCIENTIFICALLY ACCURATE. I’m almost sure of that, but I do know that more water equals less gout pain. So Imma be, Imma be, Imma, Imma, Imma be……well….drinking a lot of water.

science bill nye

So back to this morning at the gym. I said I’d do this until I finished it or until 45 minutes was up:


  • Warmup
    • 4 x 25 swim
  • Kick Set
    • take 15 seconds rest in between
    • 4 x 25 w/ kickboard
    • 2 x 25 no kickboard
    • 4 x 25 w/ kickboard
    • 2 x 25 no kickboard
  • Swim Set
    • 2 x 50 easy -30 seconds rest in between 50s
    • 4 x 50 medium -20 seconds rest
    • 5 x 50 medium-hard -15 seconds rest
  • Cooldown
    • 1 x 100 very easy

I got all the way to the 5×50…I did the first one and realized I was 40 minutes in…so I jumped to the cooldown. Still 850 meters isn’t bad for day one, at least I think. I’m no swimmer.

Swimming is such an amazing workout. I’m exhausted. I was never breathing super hard, but my muscles were super tired about 1/2 way through for sure.

On the days that I swim, I won’t be doing any other physical workouts. It’s a lot of work.

I haven’t had dinner yet, but I’m doing really well with the eating and such. Speaking of which, let’s just hop on this scale here and see where I’m at from starting a week ago at 302.


Not bad for the first week.

Here’a a funny story that I had forgotten about from last week:

On to the crochet! I set my alarm for 13 minutes tonight because I’m already running out of time to complete things tonight after staying later at work. Not waking up early enough REALLY throws this stuff out of whack.

ANNNND I did 30 minutes again.


Here’s what I can do now:


You might notice that I have a new crochet needle. I didn’t like the one that came with the started kit so I went back to my girl’s house today to pick out another one. Oh, I didn’t tell you guys? I have a girlfriend! Her name is Jo.


I maybe went a little overboard…

Susan is probably sitting on  a pile of her crochet needle money cackling like a crazy person

Susan is probably sitting on a pile of her crochet needle money cackling like a crazy person watching bumfights


But really, the new K-10.5 I bought has a more deliberate hook on the end and I just like it betOHMYGOD I’m a woman.

It’s cool, I have nice boobs.

Alright, it’s like 10:30 and if I want to get on the treadmill I have to go organize something and make dinner and get some sleep.

Random act of kindness today, a gentleman came into the pool area and all the lap lanes were occupied so I let him share my lane. I really didn’t want to because I’m all over the place and it’s narrow and awkward and what if he peed? But it was fine and that worked out well.

I’ve showered twice. I still smell like chlorine. My skin is itchy. I still smell like chlorine. Also, I don’t know if I told you, I still smell like chlorine.


I flossed today and there was barely any evidence of a bloody murder in my sink, so that’s probably a good thing. My fingernails are “long” enough that they are starting to feel strange and annoying when I catch them on my other fingers. Stupid fingers.

One last thing. Do yourself a favor and look at my buddy John Cessna’s yearly Christmas card. I co-starred in last years card and this year’s dropped today and already has more than 2.5 million views online:


How awesome is that?

Here’s a link to the gallery where I’m in the card from last year:


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