Posts Tagged ‘vegetarian’

This is my view of America everyday:

meat shaped usa

‘Merica

I’m changing that view this week to this:

veggie usa, veggie america, america made of fruits and veggies, vegan

putting this together felt un-American

Isn’t that cute? I made that one. Who said I’m not crafty.

I’m going vegan. For a whole week.

Sunday 7/8/12 at noon to Sunday 7/15/12 at noon. And I had just properly disposed of the left over broccoli from all of the green blends I did last month:

This is probably going to be a little more difficult than normal because the LaPorte County Fair, which I am working for the family business, is also Sunday through Sunday. I’ll be there from 9am to 9 or 10pm everyday. There will be deep fried errrrything. I didn’t really think this through when I made the decision yesterday.

Fortunately I had a handful of real bacon bits at 11:57am, so I should be fine for the week.

I went to the grocery store to stock up on all things I could tolerate that don’t have meat or animal bi-products in them. Turns out it’s a short list.

It’s a short list because when I got excited about things like this:

vegan buffalo wings

I read the fine print and it looks like this:

morning star ingredients list

Well shit.

So I ended up with a haul that included soy milk, assorted fruit, nuts, and the like:

vegan

Those are nectarines in that bag next to the grapes…don’t think I’ve ever had one. Hopefully they taste just like bacon.

I don’t know if you can see directly to the right of the Cocoa Pebbles, I bought honey. In my stupid brain I’m thinking, man, I can’t have butter, so I’ll get some honey instead. F*cking bees. Who let them be animals anyway? So yes, I took out the honey. Looking at that picture, I could probably eat all of that in one sitting. So that’s supposed to be my week. We’ll see how it goes. Have fun eating fair food everyone! I’m sure I’ll rival you with my silk vanilla shit faux milk and bananas…

If anyone that is vegan wants to help a brother out by telling me what other hidden gems I’m missing out on please leave me a comment…but if you say tofu I will punch you, fair warning.

The vegan week is going to fall under #9, because I’m sure hoping this crap pays off a little bit in the lbs department. I lost 19 pounds last month going from 275 to 256. I put back 4 pounds over the course of the 4th of July holiday espectacularrrrrr (roll your r’s if you can and that word is awesome)and am currently right at 260. Here goes nothin’.

My Bucket List until December 31st 11:59pm of 2012 is as follows:

  1. Dunk a basketball.
  2. Raise 500 dollars of other people’s money for the LaPorte Small Animal Shelter (It’s easy to donate, harder to raise those funds).
  3. Go on a 4 day weekend getaway somewhere tropical by myself.
  4. Meet a famous person, people from reality TV don’t count.
  5. Become SCUBA certified.
  6. Attempt to break a Guinness World Record Most people in one place wearing sunglasses at night! 7/6/2012! Wrigley Field!
  7. Learn to play one entire song on an instrument.
  8.  Start a side business, or create some form of secondary revenue stream. *Your multi-level marketing pyramid scheme is not what I’m looking for, sorry*
  9.  Achieve one of the following: 1) Weigh 205 pounds. 2) Have under 10% body fat 3) Have noticeable abs
  10.  Bungee Jump (I’m 100% f*cking terrified of heights)
  11.  Learn to Juggle four beanbags at once.
  12.  Complete a sprint triathlon